Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Downsized Christmas Ham

 

Why did a single ham cost $2 million? It's all about the 'butt face' - Los  Angeles Times

 

The lead up to Christmas

Was extremely interesting

At the home of Mr. and Mrs. Moron,

Especially the baking.

 

You might be wondering

Why I am saying this

Well, just follow me very closely

And the point you won’t miss.

 

moron meme | Cubicle humor, April fool's prank, Workout humor

 

Every year Mr. Moron

Would buy a big ham,

To have a lot of ham for Christmas

Was always his plan.

 

But for some reason

His plan wouldn’t work out

And much of the Christmas ham

Was thrown out.

 

 Simpleton (Black Text) - Xenoblade - Posters and Art Prints | TeePublic

 

Mrs. Moron was the one

Who dealt with the ham

And clearly by now you should see

Her plan was not his plan.

 

Nothing new here,

I can tell you for a fact

For if you truly know the Morons

You’d see it in their chat.

 

Year after year

Mr. Moron would let it ride

But he decided this time around

He would stem the tide.

 

moron meme | Cubicle humor, April fool's prank, Workout humor

 

“Every year I buy a ham

And before you bake it

You does throw away some

As an annual habit”

 

To me, Simpleton,

Dat don’t make sense

And I am letting you know

I taking offense.

 

Why do you do dis?

Are you mad?

And if it was only a little bit

It won’t be so bad.”

 

Simpleton (Black Text) - Xenoblade - Posters and Art Prints | TeePublic

 

“Well Moron,” she replied,

“I see my mother do it

And she uses to take off a lot

Not just a little bit.

 

I ask she one day

And she couldn’t tell me why,

She mother before she did it

And she didn’t even try.

 

That was de practice

Handed down to she

And as a good parent like she mother

She hand down it to me.”

 

moron meme | Cubicle humor, April fool's prank, Workout humor

 

“Whuh, I so sorry

That I en ask this before,

From now on I dun buying big hams

Anymore.

 

Cause it en mek no sense

Trowing away all o’ dat ham,

Dat to my way of tinking

Is not a good plan.”

 

Simpleton (Black Text) - Xenoblade - Posters and Art Prints | TeePublic

 

“But Moron,

It ain’t ‘bout de size o’ de ham,

It is de tradition passed down

From my gran-gran.

 

And you see de little girl

Dat we got dey?

She gine have to do it too

Cause dat is de way”

 

Simpleton (Black Text) - Xenoblade - Posters and Art Prints | TeePublic

 

And with that

Simpleton cuts off the ham,

Compliments of de culture

And her gran-gran.

 

When ovens were small

And hams wouldn’t hold

The ham had to be trimmed

Is what I was told.

 

Pass this on

To people who don’t know,

Begin with the Morons

But take it slow.

 

Stewart Russell © December 16, 2024

 

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