The lead up to Christmas
Was extremely interesting
At the home of Mr. and Mrs. Moron,
Especially the baking.
You might be wondering
Why I am saying this
Well, just follow me very closely
And the point you won’t miss.
Every year Mr. Moron
Would buy a big ham,
To have a lot of ham for Christmas
Was always his plan.
But for some reason
His plan wouldn’t work out
And much of the Christmas ham
Was thrown out.
Mrs. Moron was the one
Who dealt with the ham
And clearly by now you should see
Her plan was not his plan.
Nothing new here,
I can tell you for a fact
For if you truly know the Morons
You’d see it in their chat.
Year after year
Mr. Moron would let it ride
But he decided this time around
He would stem the tide.
“Every year I buy a ham
And before you bake it
You does throw away some
As an annual habit”
To me, Simpleton,
Dat don’t make sense
And I am letting you know
I taking offense.
Why do you do dis?
Are you mad?
And if it was only a little bit
It won’t be so bad.”
“Well Moron,” she replied,
“I see my mother do it
And she uses to take off a lot
Not just a little bit.
I ask she one day
And she couldn’t tell me why,
She mother before she did it
And she didn’t even try.
That was de practice
Handed down to she
And as a good parent like she mother
She hand down it to me.”
“Whuh, I so sorry
That I en ask this before,
From now on I dun buying big hams
Anymore.
Cause it en mek no sense
Trowing away all o’ dat ham,
Dat to my way of tinking
Is not a good plan.”
“But Moron,
It ain’t ‘bout de size o’ de ham,
It is de tradition passed down
From my gran-gran.
And you see de little girl
Dat we got dey?
She gine have to do it too
Cause dat is de way”
And with that
Simpleton cuts off the ham,
Compliments of de culture
And her gran-gran.
When ovens were small
And hams wouldn’t hold
The ham had to be trimmed
Is what I was told.
Pass this on
To people who don’t know,
Begin with the Morons
But take it slow.
Stewart Russell © December 16, 2024
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