Standpipe Politics with Smartie and Moron (3)

 

 

Man Smartie,

You’re very quiet today.

Man I can’t get a word out of you.

It is not like you

Never to have a view.

Like something happened, man.

Something like what, Moron?

Easy there, Smartie,

I am not trying to put you on the spot.

What is it you want, Moron?

I just want to talk, Smartie.

After all this is just you and me.

What you say stays here,

You do not have to fear.

All right Moron,

What news do you have for me today?

I don’t have any.

I know you always in the works

But today you like you would rather shirk.

 

 

No Moron,

It is just that I am not feeling so well.

I was trying to paint the little house

And I fell.

Man, I am sorry to hear that.

I noticed that you were favouring the left leg

But I didn’t know you had a fall.

Is that all?

Is that all what?

I mean if that is the only injury.

Cause you know that if you wanted help

You could have checked with me.

No Moron, money is tight these days.

Do you mean for you, Smartie?

Man, give me a break.

You of all people?

Who are you trying to fake?

Moron, are you trying to lock up me?

Who told you that I have money?

Listen Smartie,

This is just between you and me

But I hear you have real money.

You are so right Moron,

Cause I am not in to counterfeit.

I do not mean like that, Smartie.

Look, let us leave that subject

And move on to the next.

What do you think about the Cabinet?

What do you mean?

Did you order a cabinet?

No Smartie,

I mean the Cabinet in the House.

Why Moron,

That is what I asked you, louse.

Smartie,

 You do not have to call me names.

But I really mean the House of Assembly.

That is not the same.

O you want to talk politics!

I thought you were getting up to tricks

Cause if you are borrowing

I am not lending.

What about the Cabinet, though?

I heard people saying

The Cabinet is too big for the house.

You mean Parliament right?

Yes Smartie,

I mean Parliament House.

Well Moron,

Given what we are going through,

I could agree with you.

Twenty-six is too large.

The last people put seventeen in charge

And these people complained.

But I believe

That is all part of the game.

These have a lot to correct

So they need many hands on deck.

 

I do not swallow that, Smartie.

These are tough times

And people getting sent home.

A Cabinet that big

Cannot be condoned.

I agree with you, Moron

Don’t tear of your clothes.

Next thing you know,

You would want to share blows.

Smartie, I know that you are a “B”

And I have always been a “D”

But that can’t come between us

No need for a fuss.

That is true Moron

But you have a point there.

I really don’t think

Such a large Cabinet is fair.

Smartie, do you think

It could be made smaller

Now that we are in this position?

Sure Moron

But the question is who you will cut.

I thought you would tell me that, Smartie
And so nicely put.

But I am not the PM, Moron

I didn’t build the Cabinet.

Anyway Smartie,

 All I am suggesting is:

1. Reduce the size of the Cabinet

And

2. Build a bigger Backbench.

If small people could go home

Big ones should also get retrenched.

I can’t argue with that, Moron

But who are they going to move?

That is some homework for you to do Smartie

Besides the other little problem

There in your groove.

What is that Moron?

I am refraining from trouble.

I would hate to burst your bubble.

No, you get your water, Smartie

And away you can hobble.

After Smartie leaves…

Peoples, isn’t that quaint?

All this talk about falling and paint?

Well let me tell you,

I am no saint

But when Smartie got the news

All he could do was faint.

Two were up

And one was down

And now you guess right

That one is not around.

Smartie has a prison trio

On the prison bench,

Now zero in his Cabinet

And he got retrenched.

About the Cabinet and Backbench

Keep that to yourself.

If you are not a builder

Leave those tools on the shelf.

Get your new furnishings

But stay out of the courts.

Hire Purchase is a killer

I am not making sport.

Enjoy the run-up to Independence

Stay safe and be blessed

And remember this if nothing else,

Jesus takes care of stress.

From the standpipe, this is Moron.

I gone.

Stewart Russell © November 2018

Standpipe Politics with Smartie and Moron (2)

 

 

Hi Smartie,

Did you get the thing?

I did indeed Moron

And man I had a fling.

So tell me something

Was it a lot?

What?

I asked you,

If it was a lot.

I don’t know anything

About a dot.

I understand now.

You cannot hear.

I should be able to,

I am quite near.

Smartie, the pipe is running

Quite slow today.

I believe it’s the BWA

The Revenue Authority…

What do you mean?

No Moron,

I mean the BWA not the BRA

No Smartie, not that scene

Leave the ladies out.

That’s obscene.

Come on Moron

I mean the Barbados Water Authority,

The BWA,

Oh sorry, Smartie,

I wasn’t thinking.

On the other hand

It looks like you were drinking.

But the BWA is something else though.    

The bills more than double

And now I’m in trouble.

Now Moron, I am lost

Cause I don’t understand.

Come on Smartie

Don’t you read the news?

This is the first time ever

That you didn’t have a view.

 

 

You cool it Moron

Cause you are not smarter than me.

Both of us are here at the standpipe…

Even that you could see

But I hear on the news

The water bill will be more.

That is true, Moron

But the standpipe is outdoors.

And as long as they don’t count buckets

We could catch by the score.

I thought I had you there

But you real smart, man.

That is my ability.

That’s why you are Moron

And I am Smartie.

A lull in the conversation…

By the way though Moron,

It’s the same water rate.

Just that they have added on sewage

To fix the south coast plant,

And for the new trucks

They have added on garbage.

 

Smartie I hear over the news

That some just paying the water rate

And the BRA advises

That is a big mistake.

Well I will tell you the truth Moron,

I feel it will end up in court,

For to attach it to the water bill

Cannot be sport.

A little lull…

Plus and to put what you pay to the other two,

That is foolishness in my view.

You lost me there, Smartie

Well if they only pay the water rates

Their water bill will go into arrears

And eventually more people

Will join us out here.

Well let me get my water quickly

Cause soon they could be a crowd.

We can talk now it is quiet

But soon out here could be loud.

Yes Moron you get the point

But for right now

This standpipe is still our fount.

But Smartie,

How is the business going?

I mean with your oldest boy.

On the street they are saying

You are his decoy.

Moron,

Look, catch your water and go your way.

I am not about anything so today.

No Smartie,

 I will let you go first.

You fill your bucket

 And then I will fill mine.

After all you must be about your business

But I have got time.

Now that Smartie has gone

Let me give you an update:

About his son’s pharmaceuticals…

The authorities are closing in

And he is heading for trouble.

 

 

Tell the PM to leave this standpipe alone

It is tax-free,

Garbage-free

And sewage-free

And to me and Smartie

It is like home.

Don’t forget to celebrate Independence.

Signing out from the standpipe:

I gone…

Stewart Russell © November 2018