Who is this El Nino?

  

 

I hear talk about El Nino,

Pray tell me, who is he

That even in this month of November

Is causing me such misery?

 

Why, I can’t remember

A November that was so hot

For usually this is cooling down time

But we’re still in the pot.

 

I heard about his sister,

El Nino’s sister, I mean,

And it appears she isn’t nearly as bad;

El Nino is a scream!

 

Who is this El Nino?

I would truly like to know

And tell me who gives him the right

To torture me so.

 

Why is November so hot?

That is my question

And the answer comes, ask El Nino,

El Nino is the problem.

 

It’s not I’m not grateful

For a hurricane-less season

But they also say that for this occurrence

El Nino is the reason.

 

So, El Nino I thank you

That there were no storms

But cud-dear, as any Bajan would say,

It is definitely too warm.

 

You are sucking my life

And making me very languid

And I constantly reflect on my life

To find out what I did. 

 

 

 

Is this a consequence

Of something that man did?

I mean like messing with the weather

Or something real big?

 

Blame the fossil fuels

And the carbon dioxide,

The atmosphere is saturated, they say

And earth is getting fried. 

 

Tell me, is it really true

There is no end in sight

And that December could be as hot

Even in the night?

 

Tell me it’s my imagination

And not really true

Or at least tell me there’s something

That I can do.

 

Another month like this

Could take a man’s life

Especially if that man is up in years

Experiencing other strife.

 

I don’t need to spell it out

Seniors know what I mean

Especially those in the seventies or more

That can only dream.

 

I asked Ziggy this morning

What’s to be expected

And it was a temperature of 89 degrees

That Ziggy projected.

 

Please my dear El Nino

I am begging for some ease

Or at the very least cool down the heat

By sending some breeze.

 

Stewart Russell © November 8, 2026

 

Bajan Street Characters

  

 

Let’s talk of Bajan characters:

Some from long ago,

One or two of more recent times

That you may know.

 

These were comedians

In their own rights

Though to many Bajans back then,

They weren’t too bright.

 

Some were called vagrants

With no fixed abode

And this, because they always seemed

To be on the road.

 

But they were brilliant

In what they portrayed

Thus, most of them are remembered

Up to this day.

 

 

At the top of my list

Was one called Ossie More,

Almost all of the jokes about Ossie

Are now Bajan folklore.

 

The top featured post

That you’d find on this blog

Is Ossie Moore and hundreds of hits

He has so far logged.

 

Hailing from St. James,

He was a real fine soul

And we once shared a mutual friend

Thus, so I was told.

 

I didn’t know Ossie

But I knew some who knew

And there was some exaggeration

Re what he did do.

 

He didn’t put Pepper

In the pot that day

But somehow that circulated

And we had our say.

 

Pepper was the dog

Rather than the spice,

I wonder how it would’ve tasted

In some white rice.

 

Neither would he have lit

The boss lady’s garden

So, both you and I can appreciate

No such problem.

 

No, Ossie was the comedian

And he told the jokes

But clearly, they backfired on him

So, he was the sport.

 

I recall seeing Gearbox

Come up the school drive,

Just so, students were around him

Like bees in a hive.

 

This was at Combermere

During the luncheon recess

And we were all treated to a show:

“Comedy at Its Best”.

 

 

 

Gearbox was a mechanic

So I was told

And from my observation of him,

He was quite bold.

 

His car was superannuated

To say the least

But his dexterous handling of it

Was as smooth as grease.

 

The fact it still worked

To Gearbox was a credit

But I understand that as a mechanic,

He was good at it.

 

Needless to say

The show was very short

For with the appearance of the Head

He was forced to abort.

 

He was a friend of a PM

That shall remain nameless,

I saw him him drive his Mercedes;

Now you take the test.

 

 

 

Bat Is a Flying Mouse

Oh, what a name!

But I tell you, messing with him

Was a dangerous game.

 

As boys we teased him

Just to have some fun

But when he started out after us,

We had to run.

 

He threw stones at us

But without much luck,

In those days, we learnt to run fast

And expertly duck.

 

Bulldog was well known

To Empire cricket fans,

To him Empire was the greatest

In all of the land.

 

And when Spartan met

With his favourite team,

Bulldog was sure to be a spectacle

To add to the scene. 

 

I can see him in Queens Park

Traipsing up and down,

Smiling when Empire was on the up

But otherwise, a frown. 

 

Sharkie was another

We would regularly see

When the Wesleyan Holiness Church

Held its Quarterly.

 

This was at the tabernacle

On White Park Road,

In those days most would walk

While a few drove.

  

There we would see Sharkie

Enjoying himself

And later partaking from baskets

That sustained his health.

 

He was well taken care of

By these Christian folk

And no doubt in Sharkie’s mind,

This struck a note.

 

Next up on the list

Was one called Sam Monkey

Who frequented Government Hill

And the Ivy.

 

He was good for exercise

When you called his name

And while he never caught anybody

We enjoyed the game.

 

Sam Monkey was tame

And soon we refused to run

But as boys as you would expect,

This was no fun.

 

 

 

Big Dick was a huge man

And pushed a box cart,

Not only was he big and ungainly

But clearly not smart.

 

He was quite eager

To pelt you with stones,

Tweedside and Carrington Village

Was where he roamed.

 

Extremely large feet

Was one his characteristics

But he was not particularly slow

Should you shout, “Big Dick!”

 

Not much, I am told,

Regarding conversation,

Dick seemed to be all that he knew

Under interrogation.

 

When questioned in Court

Every answer was Dick

And whether he knew more or not,

It was a cool trick.

 

  

Georgie Porgie is another

And used to sing in a calypso tent,

He won the calypso crown in 1987

As the then Clown Prince.

 

He wrote his own lyrics

Often in the palm of his hand

Composing them the same night

On which he sang.

 

On stage with legends

Like Serenader and Invader,

Dragon, Adonijah and Johnny Ma Boy,

Smokey and Night Stalker.

 

Georgie Porgie passed

Shy of his seventy first birthday

And once there remains a Pic o’ De Crop

He’ll be remembered each year.

 

Dagon the False God

Might not be very familiar

But to the youth in Government hill,

He was a monster.

 

One of my brothers

Reminded me only today

Of a Dagon encounter in which he almost

Did not get away.

 

Were it not for the canes

Located above our house’

That day, Dagon the monster cat

Would have caught a mouse.

 

That small cane-patch

Saved my frightened brother

When Dagon zeroed in on him alone

And forgot all the others.

 

Long after Dagon left,

My brother hid in the patch,

Afraid to venture out of this refuge

And give Dagon a catch.

 

The next character

Was the most glamorous one

And is remembered for his uniqueness

Though long gone.

 

A bicycle he mostly walked,

I’ve seldom seen him ride,

And bright coloured three-piece suits

In which he could not hide.

 

 

 

The brightest of reds

As well as greens and yellows

King Dyal, by name but not status,

Was an intriguing fellow.

 

Somewhat fretful at times

Especially when he was teased,

Black cattle, he called his own colour

Obviously, none too pleased.

 

A fixture at Test Cricket

And internationally acclaimed,

Once present at Lord’s cricket ground

And announced by name. 

 

The last one on this list

Passed away quite recently

And a tribute was done to honour him

By a famous attorney.

 

On YouTube is an interview

With this particular character

And his reflections about his lifestyle

Was more than chatter.

 

A natural comedian

Though not at all simple,

Ninja Man confronted a policeman

Over something legal. 

 

 

 

Caught with a door

He requested a search warrant

And behind the door partially hidden,

He was quite adamant.

 

For his portable home

Ninja Man posed with a door

Having two locks and open louvres

With nothing more. 

 

A daily tabloid captured it

And boy, wasn't that amusing?

With Ninja Man looking out the door

And the police objecting.

 

Twelve Bajan Characters

Now part of Bajan folklore,

Ossie Moore takes the cake for me

With his jokes galore.

 

Stewart Russell © November 11, 2026

 

Standpipe Politics with Smartie and Moron (6)

  

By now you can see

Where Moron and Smartie be,

Clearly Smartie is a resolute ‘B’

And Moron is ‘D’.

 

Bear this in mind

As we continue this episode,

Different political alliances yet allies

They continue to show.

 

Here is the question

That now occupies their mind:

“From year number fifty-two to year number sixty,

How much did Bim grow in this time?”

 

This is the Auntie Mia years

Eight years to-date,

Of course, with any PM you and I know

There is a mix of love and hate.

 

“So, Moron, wuh you tink

‘Bout de question dey ask?”

“Well, Smartie, as you know, as for me,

Dat is a difficult task.

 

Cause as you done know,

I en no Mia fan

And unlike you and all de BLP yard fowl,

I doan find she too grand.

 

But um is very true

That she cat-spaddle we:

Thirty-love, thirty-love and thirty-love again

Really mash up de DLP.

 

But wid a 3-peat like dat

And a mandate so large,

All that Mia did as far as I can see

Was to be large and in charge.

 

And as a Mottley,

Dat is truly who she be:

Very large and very in charge

Over dis country.”

 

“But wait, Moron,

Dat is all you got to say,

Despite de fact o’ you admitting

DLP lost dey way?

 

Wuh, Mia rescue we

Especially in de COVID,

Secure de vaccine fuh we from India,

O yes, she did.

 

And she gih people money

To help dem each week.

Nuh wundah duh call she Auntie Mia,

Man she too sweet.

 

She raised de pensions

Especially fuh de poor,

My pension went up near 50 percent,

I wish um was more.”

 

 

 

“But Smartie,

You din even contribbit

And now you getting de same as me,

Yuh cud go and check it.

 

She promise to cah up mine too

But um en happen yet.

De funny ting, Smartie, is that I contribbit

But she en keeping dat debt.

 

While I glad you get sumpting

I still tink it was onfair,

She shud da do sumpting fuh de rest;

Dat shud da be clear.

 

Eight years she did in

Wid nearly all o’ de seats

And a promise she mek back in 2018

She cahn even keep.”

 

“Wuh nearly all o’ de seats?

Moron, she win all!

She lick de pants off you and you party

Whenever de elections call.

 

Had it not fuh dem betrayers,

You know de two I mean:

De Bishop and de one dey call de RAT

We wudda wipe it clean.

 

Yuh en see de same RAT

Mash up de DLP

And now we got Lashley and Sinkler

In we party?

 

I went an’ vote fuh Lashley

‘Cause he done wid de DLP

An’ I moving wid any and everybody

That wid Mia Mottley.”

 

“I hear you, Smartie,

Evahting like um gine you way

But night does run till day ketch it,

I will get my day.”

 

“By de time you day get hey

You gun be in Westbury

And you gine be one disgruntle

And restless duppy.

 

I only hope, Moron,

Duh doan bury you near me

‘Cause just like in life and all like now,

You gine cause me misery.”

 

“Wuh Smartie, who older?

Wuh, you older than me

An’ I gine be around for a long time

After you dead an’ bury.

 

But getting back to de point,

You en suh nutting yet.

If you want to talk ‘bout wuh Mia do,

Why not talk ‘bout we debt?

 

Billions of dollars in debt

And borrowing to pay back,

Borrowing from Harry to pay back Paul

An’ de poor still lack.

 

Cahn even see wuh she doing

Or weh de money gone,

Yuh know wuh de ole people used to say,

It must be gone in Maxwell pond.

 

Borrowin’, borrowin’, borrowin’,

Dat is all she doin’

And poor Bajans like me and you

Sufferin’, sufferin’, sufferin’.”

 

“Moron, please gih me chance

Leh me talk now

‘Cause I listen to you criticizing my PM

And cahn get in a word, nuh how.”

 

“All right, Smartie,

I gine gih you a chance,

Okay, muh boy, open yuh mout’

And do yuh dance.”

 

"Okay, Mia bring ‘bout reform

And transformation,

Nuff people get tek from paying tax:

Land tax and income taxation.

 

During COVID-19

De school children get tablets

So dey could continue to study pun line

And do work de teachers set.

 

De cost o’ living come down

Wid a basket o’ goods,

She tek de VAT off o’ them food items

Like a good PM should.

 

She get jobs fuh nuff people

An’ raise de minimum wage,

She had private enterprise quarrelling

An’ dey were in a rage.

 

She improve school meals

And cut down pun sweets

‘Cause de trildren like dey had demons

So to speak.

 

She appoint more women

To hifalutin’ jobs

And get rid o’ de lot o’ dark tint pun cars

Dat criminals use to kill and rob.

 

She help de sports people

And even sponsor football

By adding she title to a competition

But dat en all.

 

She went all ‘bout de world

Trying to get help fuh we

An' you and all dem discarded scondrels

Just criticize she.

 

She form links wid India an’ China

And de Mudder Country,

All o’ dat she do and much more

Fuh ungrateful we.

 

She is de best PM we evah had,

I could swear to dat

An' bring we to de position to be a republic,

Dat is a true fact.

 

She got international acclaim

More than any past PM,

She even got more than Uncle Errol

And more than Owen.

 

Moron, I cud go on and on

But to you it wun mek sense

‘Cause you is Moron by name and nature

It’d only be an offense.

 

Plus, I got stuff to do

And cahn waste nuh more time,

I got a farm to run and people to feed

An dat pun my mind.”

 

 

 

“Okay Smartie, I en done yet

But you know how to run,

Nevah you mind, de next time we meet,

It’ll be crime and de gun.” 

 

An doan tink I fuhget

De Constitution en come yet,

Two elections and five years of promising

And she en fix dat debt.

 

But I wun be suprise, Smartie,

If she borrow to fix dat too,

Anyway, my ole friend, I is a farmer

Just like you.

 

And I have to be ‘bout dat

In order that I may survive,

I may be Moron by name and nature

But I still know how to thrive.

 

An all dat I get

I get under Errol Walton Barrow

An he din have to borrow nearly as much

As Mia Mottley borrow.”

 

Okay Moron, I hear you,

Until next time

Whenevah we get another chance

To speak we mind.”

 

Stewart Russell © November 7, 2026

 

A Gift and a Grace

 

 

Ever wonder why

Some would not repent?

Perhaps they lack a special gift

That is heaven sent.

 

It’s not only a gift

But it is also a grace,

And unless one looks heavenward

There's not a trace.

 

It is a gift from God

Who extends this grace

To all who would come to Him

Or seek His face.

 

Perhaps you wonder

What this gift is,

Well let’s turn this presentation

Into a quiz.

 

 

I have given you a clue

In verse number one,

Just pause here and go back there

Before moving on.

 

Did you see the clue?

Oh, it’s there all right,

I see it there in the first verse

And I’m not bright.

 

Meaning if I can

You should see it too

For it is certain that between us two,

The brighter is you.

 

I’ll repeat the first verse

Right after this one

And whether you get it or not,

I’ll be moving on.

 

Ever wonder why

Some would not repent?

Perhaps they lack a special gift

That is heaven sent.

 

 

A gift and a grace

Is this poem’s title

And for everyone that’s saved

This gift was vital.

 

It is given by God

And placed in our hearts

And not to be confused with remorse

In full or in part.

 

Judas showed remorse

But he never repented,

God hardened Pharaoh’s heart

And he never relented.

 

God withheld repentance

As it was His to give

And Pharaoh chose to die

Rather than live.

 

 

He stubbornly resisted

Rather than concede

And though he could not win

He would not believe.

 

Repentance is a gift,

Yes, it is also a grace

And without God in our hearts

We don’t have a trace.

 

It is a godly sorrow

For the sins we commit

Hence why John the Baptist came

With this remit.

 

Repent, he stressed,

For the kingdom is at hand,

Repentance is a grace and gift

It’s what God planned.

 

Stewart Russell © February 27, 2025