Can You Dig It?

 

If I send you for the left shoe

And you bring the left shoe,

Wouldn’t that be the right shoe?

But if I send you for the left shoe

And you bring the right shoe

Then that would be the wrong shoe.

You see the wrong shoe is the right shoe

And the right shoe is the wrong shoe,

A sure case of when wrong is right.

It is like driving in Barbados:

To drive on the left is to be right

There is a possible case of being left dead

If you are on the right.

Why do people sit on a collapsible chair?

Isn’t that reason enough not to sit on it?

Funny enough they are never marked.

If the house burns down

You may have saved some stuff

But if it burns up nothing might be saved.

  

It is said that…

The bottom line is that if you work hard

You would likely reach the top.

However, if you don’t

Your top will be someone’s bottom.

If I ask you if the answer is “no” and you say “yes”

Then your “no” is the same as “yes”,

It means for once I can trust your word.

To dig a hole one starts from the top

But to get out of it he starts from the bottom.

If there is no top there is no bottom.

He told the truth when he said he lied

But he lied when he said he told the truth.

Don’t you worry; I have the proof.

People living near a cemetery

 Are never buried therein

But then again neither are those dying elsewhere.

He was standing at the front of the church

But the evidence was inadmissible.

As to whether he was inside or outside

Either of the two was probable.

  

If one is coming back now

It would have to be now he is coming back.

So chances are, he will arrive later.

  

If nowhere is no place

Then how is it possible to get there?

And more particularly to get there by doing nothing.

There’s one thing I cannot do when I am sleeping.

That is to wake up.

Yet, that is the very thing I am expected to do.

  

I am especially concerned

When I am not concerned

Since not to be concerned

Gives me a very good reason to be concerned.

Is it possible to do the impossible

When the impossible is not possible?

Yes, only if the impossible is possible

Then God can.

If you get something done

Then it is clear to me you haven’t done it

Since if somebody did it for you

You could not have done it too.

  

The dead know nothing and we don’t.

If that is true

Then the dead knows something that we don’t.

If the dead knows something that we don’t

Then to know what the dead knows that we don’t

We must die.

Is it worth it?

Knowing nothing, I mean.

If a problem is a problem before it is solved

What is it after it is solved?

No problem.

If a soldier steps off on the wrong foot

And that is the right foot

Then quite obviously

His left foot would be his right foot.

If his left foot and his right foot

Are one and the same,

Then it logically follows

That he must be a one-foot soldier.

  

The child was punished for being wrong

Yet he was the right child all along.

It was discovered after he was pointed out

That he was, in fact, the right child.

What is the opposite of an “open-hole”?

I guess you would say a closed-hole.

But could that be correct?

How could it be a hole if it is closed?

I will finish at this point

And I trust you see the point

For if in fact you haven’t seen the point

Then I would not have made a point.

Stewart Russell © May 2019