Caller: Hi, how are you doing? I called you yesterday but got no reply.
Recipient: Sometimes
I do not hear this phone ring.
Caller: Did
you check the bell to see if it is up or down?
Recipient: Well I look up in the ceiling and on the ledges
but I did not see anything. I even
looked under the chairs and the bed and no bell.
Caller: Did you call LIME?
Recipient: Couldn’t be there. I haven’t been there in a while.
Caller: So what are you going to do about the
bell?
Recipient: Well there’s one at the door. That’ll have to do for the time being.
Caller: In that case we can move on to something
else.
Recipient: You can if you want to but I can’t leave
home. Someone is coming here to see me
later on.
Caller: Yeah,
I got you.
Recipient: No you
can’t. My mother did that already.
Caller: Your
mother did what?
Recipient: Got
me. She is the reason I am here.
Caller: Whatever! Putting that aside, what’s up?
Recipient: Well right now I am not too sure. You see I am inside not outside. If you are outside just look up and you won’t
have to ask me.
Caller: Man,
get serious! Stop joking around and
let’s have a reasonable conversation. I
heard you weren’t well, how are you feeling now?
Recipient: I am not feeling anything but the phone. That’s all I have in my hand at the moment.
Caller: Not
what you are feeling but how you are feeling.
Recipient: Oh, I now understand what you are asking. With my fingers; that’s how I feel all the
time.
Caller: It doesn’t seem as if I am getting
anywhere with you today.
Recipient: I already told you that I have to stay here
because someone is coming to see me.
Caller: I
am not going back there with you.
Recipient: Have we been there before? I really don’t
remember
leaving here.
Caller: Anyhow,
moving on! How is church?
Recipient: What
do you mean? Nobody told me it was sick.
Caller: I
do not mean so. I mean how is church
going?
Recipient: If not by car maybe by bus. If it’s not far it’ll probably walk.
Caller: You
got me all wrong.
Recipient: No,
not this one! Don’t blame me for how you
got here. Have a little chat with your
mother. If you are wrong may be she is
to blame, not me.
Caller: Come
on man! There is no need to get
personal.
Recipient: No, not at all.
I am my person and you are your person.
That is as personal as we would ever be.
Caller: Look
I am going. I just can’t keep up with
you.
Recipient: That’s interesting! I am not going anywhere yet you complain that
you can’t keep up with me. I wonder
what would happen if I were going somewhere.
Caller: Now that’s what I mean. For this entire telephone call you have been
giving me funny answers.
Recipient: How could that be? Neither of us is laughing.
Caller: Look I gone!
Recipient: Do not go yet.
You haven’t told me why you called in the first place.
Caller: Wait a minute! Then you are not really there?
Recipient: What do you mean I am not really here?
Caller: That’s simple! You told me I called you
in the first place.
Recipient: Yeah!
That’s true!
Caller: Well if I called you in the first place,
that’s where you were when I called you.
Recipient: Tell
me more, man! Explain yourself!
Caller Well if you were in the first place when
I called then this would have to be the second place where you are now. That is why we cannot connect. You see I am in the first place calling you
while you are in the second place; two different places at two different times.
Recipient: Well in that case I’ll ring you back later if
that is all right with you.
Caller: No problem man, just call me before you
ring cause I might not be here.
Recipient: Okay, that makes sense to me. Bye!
Stewart Russell ©
2014
