Francine and Gercine 2

 

 

Picture two next door neighbours

With no paling in beween

And whose names make music:

Francine and Gercine.

 

Picture two fowl-cocks

To service the hens

And suddenly one disappeared

Causing big problems.

 

Picture an early morning

When only one fowl-cock crowed

And de neighbours had a bassa-bassa;

Now fuh de show!

 

“Francine! Francine!

Yuh got to come out here,

I en never see nutting like this

In all me born days.

 

Francine! Francine!

You still in dey sleeping

Or you frighten sumpting gine happen

And you in dey peeping?

 

Try and come outside

It en nutting suh serious,

Stop peeping and come outside

And see why de fuss.”

 

“Chile, uh was dreaming

When uh hear yuh call out,

Uh ask muhself, whuh loud mout

Out dey bawling out bout?”

 

 

Dat fowl-cock right dey!

Dah’s yours or mine?”

“Chile, dah’s my fowl-cock;

It was so all de time.

 

And besides, it in my yard,

It en over at you,

Why you wud come asking me

When you know so too?”

 

I asking you cause dey was two

And one disappear

And dat wun at you got my sign

Pun he tail.

 

If I seeing right

That wun wud have to be mine.

Dah’s my fowl-cock

And it was so all de time?”

 

“Well, you cahn be seeing right

So get yuh eyes fix

And doan come round me dis morning

Wid nuh bigfoot tricks.

 

 

 

You cahn be serious!

De fowl-cock over at me

And yesterday it tread one my hens

And did look real happy.

 

If he did yours

He wud be ova at you,

Like me, you got hens ova dey

And you know dah’s de trute.”

 

“Eva since

I tell dat wussless wun,

Gordon, put up some paling

And he wun get it done.

 

Rather than listen to me

And get de paling done,

All de wusslessman bizness wid

Is he Cockspur Rum.

 

If he did put up de paling

When I tell he,

I wun be out hey wid you

Facing dis calamity.”

 

“Gercine, I feel sorry fuh you

But dat fowl-cock is mine

And dat is so despite you tellin me

He tail got on a sign.

 

 

I feed he from chicken stage

Till he become a fowl-cock

And as much as you saying he is you wun,

I know he is not.

 

I maintain, if he did yours

He wud be ovah at you

And dough you drop out in first form

You know dat too.”

 

“Dat is my fowl-cock

And I gine tek whuh’s mine,

You en getting way wid nuh tricks,

No, not dis time!

 

So how you gine tek he?

You gine come ovah hey?

Dat wud be over my dead body!

Girl, not today!”

 

“Before I get myself in trouble

I gine call Gordon out hey.”

Awright, you call Gordon, I’ll call George

And let de men have duh say.”

 

“Whuh wrong wid de two o’ wunna?

Wunna cahn live in peace?”

“George, Gercine trying to tell me

Dat I’s a thief.

 

She cahn find she fowl-cock

And want to tek way mine,

I tell she dat dat fowl-cock right dey

Was we wun all de time.

 

She telling me

Bout some sign pun de fowl-cock tail,

I want you to tell she whuheva she try,

She is bound to fail.”

 

“Wait! Gordon,

You en talk to Gercine?

You promise dat you wud tell you wife

Bout you little scheme.”

 

Gordon, whuh scheme is dat?

Whuh George talkin’ bout?”

“Look a woman, doan confuse me,

I got to go out.”

 

“You en gine nuh way

Till you tell me whuh I want to know.”

“Woman, you cahn be serious,

I suh I have to go.

 

Tek yuh hands off o’ me, woman,

You igronant or whuh?

I tell you that I have to leave,

You en understand whuh I suh?

 

And besides, leh tell me you,

You en want to hear bout that fowl-cock

Cause when you hear

It gine only mek you drop.”

 

“I doan care if I drop,

I want to hear

So before you leff bout dis yard

Leh me hear whuh you got to say.”

 

“Awright, I gine tell you,

Remember, you ask fuh dis,

I hope yuh ole heart cud tek it;

Um is you risk.

 

I did feeling thirsty

An I en had one red cent

So de money I get fuh de fowl-cock,

It awready shpent.

 

I en check fun nuh sign,

I shee fowl-cock and I ketch fowl-cock

And I done shpen de money

I get fuh Francine fowl-cock.”

 

“Whuh you spen de money pun?

Tell me, Gordon!”

“I tell yuh I did thirsty

So whuh you tink uh spen um pun?

 

I shpen um pun rum

And now uh echplain muhshelf, uh leffin

And dey en neffin you nor nobody cud do,

Neffin!”

 

 

“So, wait! He sell my fowl-cock

To get he Cockspur Rum

And now you want to suh dis fowl-cock

Is you wun?

 

Well, de devil is liar

Cause see dat fowlcock dey wid de sign?

Yuh could cry from now till Jesus come,

Dat fowl-cock is mine.”

 

“Francine, I is real sorry

Fuh accusing you

But dat man is embarrass me all de time

And I en know whuh to do.

 

I promise to divorce he

But tell de trute, I en got de heart

And plus, he din always so;

At least, not when we start.

 

 

I tell he many, many times

He should go to Alcoholics Anonymous

But de foolish man suh people widout a name

Nobody shun trust.

 

He’s tell me when I get duh names

I cud leh he know

And if he feel comfortable wid dem,

He might decide to go.

 

But I know he en gine nuh way,

Dah is jest he excuse

Cause when Gordon see Cockspur Rum,

He jest cahn refuse.

 

Gordon sold Francine’s fowl-cock

To buy a bottle of Cockspur,

I guess he saw a relationship;

Wouldn’t you concur?

 

Francine and Gercine

Are still very good friends

But they do need a second fowl-cock

To deal with those hens.

 

Stewart Russell © November 24, 2024

 

Francine and Gercine

 

 

Picture a detached kitchen

Out in the yard

And a time when lard-oil

Could still get hard.

 

And picture a woman

Still taking in clothes

And I mean, like a clothes laundry,

By the gigantic loads.

 

Francine in her kitchen

And Gercine outside,

No paling around either yard

So they cannot hide.

 

Follow the mid-morning chat

From a while back

At a time when regarding privacy

There was some lack.

 

 

“Whuh loss!

My perspiration lather in sweat!

Yuh wud tink it did raining

And I get wet.

 

Uh ovah a whole tub o’ clothes

And muh jucking board,

And let me tell you, neighbour,

It is a gigantic load.”

 

“Well, I hey in de kitchen

And as yuh know it out in de yard.

Last night was so cold

It had de lard-oil hard.

 

Uh stirring some cou-cou

Wid some harslip

And I gine use it wid some sweet potatoes

From muh potato slip.”

 

 

“How yuh husband?”

“Oh, he gone in de ground,

And de lil boy eat nuff dunks

And now he bound.”

 

“I was gine ask ‘bout he

But yuh read muh mind.”

“Youuu! I got to be ready fuh George,

Whuh is de time?”

 

“Just half-past nine,

Man, you got a lot o’ time.

I guess yuh using dah cou-cou

Wid some okra slime?”

 

Gercine, you guess right,

George like it so

And yuh know I aim to please he;

You know?!?!”

 

“I know that only too good, Francine,

Yuh got a good man.

He is really look out fuh wunna

As best as he can.

 

Dat wun I got

Could tek a leaf from yours,

I seriously tinking bout

Gihing he a divorce.

 

He doan do nothing

And wun bring in a cent!

And de little that I bin saving up,

In it he put a dent.

 

 

He got an outside woman;

I tink she name Rum

But he gine bring he pigs to fine market

When all is said and done.”

 

“But how come, doah,

Last night did so cold?”

“Cold?  Whuh I din really find it so.

You and you lard-oil must be too ole.

 

Whuh else I cud tell yuh?

Whuh, I en know

And besides, when yuh getting ole,

Yuh is get kind o’ slow.”

 

 

“But look who talking!

Pot calling de kettle black.

I wun even tell you wuh I want to

Cause you only getting slack!

 

I kind o’ slow?

Woman, you fuh real?

Compare to my brightness

You jest pale!

 

Why you so though?

We’s be having a good chat

And then all of a sudden, out o’ de blues

You is say sumpting slack.

 

I kind o’ slow!

Wheh dat come from?

I en bin to secondary school

But I en dumb!

 

You only got a year pun me

Cause you en get past first form.

Girl, don’t start me up, yuh hear?

I only now getting warm.”

 

“Whuh, you cahn tek a joke?

I only mekking sport.

You know we is we,

We en got to go to no court.

 

Leh we change de subject

And guh to sumpting else

Like de other day I had to pay

For flying fish melts.

 

A time dey use to gih dem way

But I realize more and more

Fuh evah single ting

No yuh got to pay.”

 

 

“Yuh mekking muh laugh,

You must be Jackie Opel.

Wait, a hour gone a ready?

I sure I just hear de school bell.

 

I gine and check de pot,

George doan eat lumpy cou-cou,

He does just swallow,

He doan even chew.”

 

“I en even know whuh to cook

When I done wash.

All I got dey is some christophene

And some butter nut squash.”

 

Then you know whuh to cook

Cause yuh know whuh you got.

Tek whuh you tell me yuh got

And put in de pot.”

 

 

“I could do dat fuh trute,

Girl you real slick

And plus, christophene and squash

Would go good wid harslip.”

De devil is liar!

Which harslip you meaning?

You cahn mean none a George harslip

Dat I hey frying?”

 

“There you go again!

It is just a little joke.”

“No girlie, when it come to George food

I doan mek sport.

 

He is hard working man

And he strength does guh in he mout

And we did marry too long now

Fuh I leh he kick me out.

 

Dat is de second time,

I gine gih you one more

But the next time you mek sport at me,

I shutting my door.

 

Because my kitchen in de yard

And yours on pun you house,

Doan mek you a princess

And me a mouse.”

 

“Uh real sorry, Francine;

Uh was only trying a trick

To see if yuh would gih me a little bit

Of George harslip.”

 

“You bust luck, Gercine,

George like he sweet food

And it is de only ting that does fix he

If he come home in a fowl mood.”

 

 

“Well, gih he chicken, then,

Doan gih he harslip!

Yuh could save dat for tomorrow

But today gih me lil bit.

 

De woman slam she kitchen door

Right in my face.

She like she en frighten

It cud o’ fall out o’ place!

 

But dat is my fault doah

Cause she did warn me

And Francine is a serious woman;

Boy, she en easy.”

 

 

Thus end the conversation

Between Francine and Gercine,

Hopefully before Independence Day

There will be a next scene.

 

Stewart Russell © November 23, 2024