Francine and Gercine

 

 

Picture a detached kitchen

Out in the yard

And a time when lard-oil

Could still get hard.

 

And picture a woman

Still taking in clothes

And I mean, like a clothes laundry,

By the gigantic loads.

 

Francine in her kitchen

And Gercine outside,

No paling around either yard

So they cannot hide.

 

Follow the mid-morning chat

From a while back

At a time when regarding privacy

There was some lack.

 

 

“Whuh loss!

My perspiration lather in sweat!

Yuh wud tink it did raining

And I get wet.

 

Uh ovah a whole tub o’ clothes

And muh jucking board,

And let me tell you, neighbour,

It is a gigantic load.”

 

“Well, I hey in de kitchen

And as yuh know it out in de yard.

Last night was so cold

It had de lard-oil hard.

 

Uh stirring some cou-cou

Wid some harslip

And I gine use it wid some sweet potatoes

From muh potato slip.”

 

 

“How yuh husband?”

“Oh, he gone in de ground,

And de lil boy eat nuff dunks

And now he bound.”

 

“I was gine ask ‘bout he

But yuh read muh mind.”

“Youuu! I got to be ready fuh George,

Whuh is de time?”

 

“Just half-past nine,

Man, you got a lot o’ time.

I guess yuh using dah cou-cou

Wid some okra slime?”

 

Gercine, you guess right,

George like it so

And yuh know I aim to please he;

You know?!?!”

 

“I know that only too good, Francine,

Yuh got a good man.

He is really look out fuh wunna

As best as he can.

 

Dat wun I got

Could tek a leaf from yours,

I seriously tinking bout

Gihing he a divorce.

 

He doan do nothing

And wun bring in a cent!

And de little that I bin saving up,

In it he put a dent.

 

 

He got an outside woman;

I tink she name Rum

But he gine bring he pigs to fine market

When all is said and done.”

 

“But how come, doah,

Last night did so cold?”

“Cold?  Whuh I din really find it so.

You and you lard-oil must be too ole.

 

Whuh else I cud tell yuh?

Whuh, I en know

And besides, when yuh getting ole,

Yuh is get kind o’ slow.”

 

 

“But look who talking!

Pot calling de kettle black.

I wun even tell you wuh I want to

Cause you only getting slack!

 

I kind o’ slow?

Woman, you fuh real?

Compare to my brightness

You jest pale!

 

Why you so though?

We’s be having a good chat

And then all of a sudden, out o’ de blues

You is say sumpting slack.

 

I kind o’ slow!

Wheh dat come from?

I en bin to secondary school

But I en dumb!

 

You only got a year pun me

Cause you en get past first form.

Girl, don’t start me up, yuh hear?

I only now getting warm.”

 

“Whuh, you cahn tek a joke?

I only mekking sport.

You know we is we,

We en got to go to no court.

 

Leh we change de subject

And guh to sumpting else

Like de other day I had to pay

For flying fish melts.

 

A time dey use to gih dem way

But I realize more and more

Fuh evah single ting

No yuh got to pay.”

 

 

“Yuh mekking muh laugh,

You must be Jackie Opel.

Wait, a hour gone a ready?

I sure I just hear de school bell.

 

I gine and check de pot,

George doan eat lumpy cou-cou,

He does just swallow,

He doan even chew.”

 

“I en even know whuh to cook

When I done wash.

All I got dey is some christophene

And some butter nut squash.”

 

Then you know whuh to cook

Cause yuh know whuh you got.

Tek whuh you tell me yuh got

And put in de pot.”

 

 

“I could do dat fuh trute,

Girl you real slick

And plus, christophene and squash

Would go good wid harslip.”

De devil is liar!

Which harslip you meaning?

You cahn mean none a George harslip

Dat I hey frying?”

 

“There you go again!

It is just a little joke.”

“No girlie, when it come to George food

I doan mek sport.

 

He is hard working man

And he strength does guh in he mout

And we did marry too long now

Fuh I leh he kick me out.

 

Dat is de second time,

I gine gih you one more

But the next time you mek sport at me,

I shutting my door.

 

Because my kitchen in de yard

And yours on pun you house,

Doan mek you a princess

And me a mouse.”

 

“Uh real sorry, Francine;

Uh was only trying a trick

To see if yuh would gih me a little bit

Of George harslip.”

 

“You bust luck, Gercine,

George like he sweet food

And it is de only ting that does fix he

If he come home in a fowl mood.”

 

 

“Well, gih he chicken, then,

Doan gih he harslip!

Yuh could save dat for tomorrow

But today gih me lil bit.

 

De woman slam she kitchen door

Right in my face.

She like she en frighten

It cud o’ fall out o’ place!

 

But dat is my fault doah

Cause she did warn me

And Francine is a serious woman;

Boy, she en easy.”

 

 

Thus end the conversation

Between Francine and Gercine,

Hopefully before Independence Day

There will be a next scene.

 

Stewart Russell © November 23, 2024