De Christmas Hams

 

 

All ya check de hams?

Duh mek muh head grow,

De hams I does buy real small

But de price big fuh so.

 

I almost buy one

But I change muh mind

Cause I en taste piece o’ ham

In a long time.

 

Years, a matter o’ fact,

None en cross my mout

And at dat price dat I see today,

Uh sure would o’ spit it out.

 

No, I en turn SDA

I is still at Lodge Road,

Lodge Road Wesleyan Holiness

Is still my abode.

 

 

No, not whey I live,

Whey I does guh church,

If you tink I live in de church

You would hah be a jerk.

 

No, nuh insult meant,

Only if you did believe so

But I know you got better sense;

You and me both know.

 

Back to de hams, dough,

Dey expensive fuh trufe,

Look like yuh gine goh get a loan

Cause de price thro’ de roof.

 

Don’t get me wrong,

Dum is some big wuns too

But if you pocket anyting like mine,

Dem hams en fuh you.

 

Uh still goh buy one

An’ dat is eventually

Cause de fact o’ de matter is,

Uh goh a family.

 

 

Dem does still eat pork

And de pork products

So yuh see, even dough I don’t eat,

Uh still bust luck.

 

De hams look good, dough,

I en see nuh loh o’ fat

But wid de price o’ dis year hams,

Nuff people gine lack.

 

I wud suggest to wunna

Start a “Go-Fund-Me” now

If wunna seriously must have ham

Wid de Christmas chow.

 

Or do hire purchase

And pay down some,

Maybe wunna could pay de rest

When next year come.

 

 

Or fuhget de turkey

And buy de ham only,

Tell wunna family dat tings brown;

An’ it is eider ham or turkey.

 

Dem SDA’s real lucky

Dat dem doan eat pork

Cause de price o’ Christmas hams

En nuh joke.

 

Here’s my final solution

And it should work:

Pray and fast on Christmas day

And spend it in de church.

 

You’ll have some money

To stretch tillyuh get pay

Or, go and eat at family or friends

On Christmas day.

 

Yuh will get ham an’ turkey

And all o’ de niceties

And yuh will be certain to enjoy

Christmas festivities.

 

Stewart Russell © December 5, 2024

 

A Fiery Experience

 

 

What a fiery experience!

And who would imagine

Someone could go through such

And still be living.

 

But alas, that one is not

For he has long since passed

However, the example he has left,

For long will it last.

 

 

First, he sat by the fire

On that fiercely cold night

And while trying to keep warm

He had a ghastly fright!

 

“You were with him!”

A voice cried out,

Then another and another,

And that made him shout.

 

“Not me!  Not me!

You are sadly mistaken,

I do not know that man.”

Jesus, he had forsaken.

 

Now, he was in the fire

Having forsaken the Lord,

When he should have stood firm,

He went back on his word.

 

He had made him a promise

But had not followed through,

Now he was in the fire

Yes, he became the stew.

 

 

Not a tasty one though,

For he had denied his Lord,

By the fire then in the fire,

Being burnt by his word.

 

What a stupid cock!

Why did it have to crow?

It appeared there was nothing

That Jesus did not know.

 

Jesus said it would happen

But Peter refused to believe,

By the fire and in the fire

Now no one to relieve.

 

First, trying to find warmth,

Now more than he needs,

Still cold and all alone,

For relief he now pleads.

 

Fast forward two months:

Let’s see what we have here,

He’s not by the fire or in the fire

But on fire without fear.

 

 

The fearful one now fearless,

Is on fire for the Lord

And on the day of Pentecost

He declares the precious Word.

 

“This same Jesus,” he declares,

“Whom you crucified…”

Now on fire he testifies

Of Jesus he once denied.

 

A three-point sermon

That was long ago preached

By a well-known child of God

That we sometimes call “Teach”.

 

That “we” there

Refers to my wife and me,

I call him my mentor

And in a real sense so does she.

 

Before COVID-19 arrived

He was her Sunday school teacher

And in the Lodge Road church

He is a well-loved preacher.

 

By the fire is where Peter sat

In the fire is what Peter got,

But when the Spirit burned within

On fire became his lot.

 

Stewart Russell © April 29, 2021

Guess Who These People Are

Welcome to the Lodge Road church

These are some of its members

Perhaps you will be able to spot them

If for a moment your mind can linger.

This one is of a fairly light complexion

CEO of this long-standing assembly

Multi-talented and quite devoted

And his ten years here should be noted.

He is well supported by his lovely wife

And his two daughters the pride of his life

The older, a leader in her very own right

As she leads the youth in this worthy fight.

This person almost lives here in this building

And she too helps care for the perishing

Dark skinned unlike the one before

And often gets here to open the church door.

The board comprises a fairly mixed crew

One handles the money and all that’s due

Another writes like it’s going out of style

And all church business she has to file.

Slim and dark deals with Sunday school

Now assisting a new member in the pool

Two years she has served as its CEO

But this year decided that she has to go.

A certain young man who is an usher

His wife is now the Sunday School Super

Last conference a member raised her hand

So now the Sunday school she must command.

Watch out for this particular person

That likes to beg during the Christmas season

The end of her name is the opposite to come

When she begs it’s for a very good reason.

This man could be the tallest man around

A man among men, his history is sound

A very bright fellow I consider is he

Well known in the Lodge Road community.

  

This one sounds like bajan but is Guyanese

May stutter sometimes but aims to please

He majors on the positive side of vice

And as a chairman he is absolutely nice.

This young man’s name rhymes with shovel

But not the kind of person you’d see grovel

Upright, though short, and a little plump

Always a pleasant smile and never a grump.

The above are the members of the board

Try to remember them don’t be absurd

Let’s work along with them all year through

And make Lodge Road the church with the view.

A few more members I would like to highlight

As we press forward in this spiritual fight

Time would not allow me to name everyone

So just a few more and then I am done.

Like this person who sits in a particular seat

And comes on Friday nights to give us a treat

Her spouse lacks inches and he must be here

So he faithfully comes and does his share.

She is an usher, a cook and shrewd organizer

Like another lady she is an exquisite dresser

The Friday night act comes under her domain

She is responsible and takes much of the strain.

There’s a light-skinned girl, she’s like a queen

On every Friday night she too can be seen

As well as a certain girl who plays she could act

Up to this morning she was displaying that fact.

This one likes much food even though he’s lean

One wonders where he puts it for it can’t be seen

And I seeing now the new SSS is an actress too

Showing off her skill with the advertising crew.

This particular lady lives out in Wotton

She lives in the top part not the bottom

She is a Friday night person and grills the fish

She fries a mean  “fries” too, if that is your wish.

There are others too who help in this cause

And this time is as good as any to take a pause

To thank all of them for a job well done

And say to all you won’t regret if ever you come.

This particular family can have a business

There are four sons and that is established

Four sons would give them two funeral homes

We can trust their caskets and not pay the loans.

Daily she climbs up to the Mount of Praise

I hope for Christmas that she gets a raise

It is not my business to call out her name

Only to tell you that it rhymes with grain.

Oh what a voice! A voice so sweet and so clear

Listen to the strains so pleasant to every ear

Getting older but yet still it’s getting sweeter

Attend 7 a.m. service and you’ll surely hear her.

This member is neither pretentious nor vain

His complexion just does not suit his name

But he’s cooperative and fits into any slot

And is one of our members that works a lot.

Ryan Brathwaite is known for a certain race

In a family here there is more than a trace

St Philip they come from and there return

Guess who they are or from one of them learn.

Then that little group we call them youth

Thrown in at the deep end that’s the truth

But help them along and watch them grow

And before long we’ll be reaping what we sow.

There’s one who shows off on the keys

She won’t mind if I continue to tease

But the old gentleman and I make a pair

When I lead worship and he’s here to play.

There’s somebody with a longish name

It’s very high sounding, nothing lame

Of our prayers there’s none that is bolder

So for prayer make sure you can hold her.

By no means is this person less counted

Though her name starts the line above

She is faithful and regular in her attendance

And she speaks out of a heart that is full of love.

New year’s morning a certain person testifies

And talks about the God on whom he relies

Now in his eighties I am expecting again

He will do so another time in Jesus’ name.

I like this girl so much; she gives me sweets

On Sundays, Wednesdays, that is such a treat

She is bubbly and always with a ready smile

Whenever she steps out she does so in style.

These two short people are husband and wife

She is short and sweet not given to strife

He is a little rotund just around the waist

A little more exercise and there’ll be no trace.

I know these two sisters, one with a stick

I can’t remember a time they were sick

One of them even comes to youth meetings

And both are pleasant, this needs repeating.

Give me a break and I’ll soon be through

Take a long look at the person beside you

If it’s not me then it’s not your best view

I know you expected me to talk about me too.

Last but not least is a group I must mention

Who do all they can to make visitors welcome

Theirs is the face that represents this assembly

And gives visitors a taste of our hospitality.

As promised this is where I shall end

If I left you out you’re still my friend

Time will not afford me now to write about you

You all know me well and you know that is true.

To the director of music and chief song planner

To all of the poets and songsters who minister

To the Pastor, board and all of our members

Thanks to the Triune God our greatest Giver.

Stewart Russell © 2014

Church Election Time

General Superintendent of The Wesleyan Holiness Church
Conference Chairman
The Rev Dr Joel Cumberbatch 

I anticipate elections

And yet still I don’t

Some are qualified to lead

And yet they won’t.

Somewhat like me

I guess some would say

“Available yet not available

But that is his way.”

That there is a dearth

There is really no doubt

Especially among the men

We must look without.

We have tried a bit

But men are hard to crack

No pun intended

But a lot are on that.

At the church I attend

The women are the most

Not a lot of men

Of which we can boast.

And these are of ages

Not young any more

Some try to appear so

But are aching and sore.

My pastor: he really tries

There’s no doubt about that

He has tried different things

And that is a fact.

I could sense his passion

I could feel his heart

He came with vitality

Right from the start.

Not quite as young

As when he came to us

He has aged a little

Given all of the fuss.

And now as he comes

To this election time

Quite a lot of stuff

Must be on his mind.

Needed: an SS Superintendent

To replace the last

After two years in office

How swift the time passed.

The numbers are dwindling

As the children get older

Their heart for Sunday school

Appears colder and colder.

The boys seem to believe

They are too big for such

And the girls follow suit

As they think as much.

And so we have a church

Of the very young and old

Not a lot in between

Though a few are bold.

The youth though a few

Are coming of age

In three years how they’ve grown

To have reached this stage!

But they are mostly girls

Not many boys among

How we pray and hope

More boys would come along.

Another area to be filled:

That of the Church Secretary

She too spent two years

As she carried that duty.

But she needs a break

A deserved one too

And so we look for someone else

To choose from the few.

Lodge Road has been around

Nigh a hundred years

A beacon in the community

The glorious Gospel it shares.

This is the church’s purpose

Sharing the word of God

The message of salvation

For this we’ve been called.

And so as we embark

On another Church Conference

We pray for a change

Regarding our stance.

A church that will grow

And as it grows will glow

So that throughout our community

Jesus all would know.

Let declensions be few

If any at all

Yet, Lord, let us answer up

If we know you have called.

For in the final analysis

This is a “called out work”

And You will be sure to equip

Such to work in Your Church.

Thank you Lord

For answering our prayer

Take over our Church conference

And the ensuing year.

May all be done

To your honour and glory

And may all of us fulfil

Our calling and our duty.

A Change

To live is to change
With that I must agree
The scheduled Chairman
Had another duty

On the other hand
An appreciative "Thank You"
To Pastor Reginald Wooding
For coming to our rescue

 He availed himself
When he was called upon
And all were satisfied
With how our conference was run.

Thanks to you Pastor Wooding
For availing yourself
I wish you all God's blessings
And the best of health.

I search for your photo
To insert it in here 
But I found none of you only
Online anywhere

 I trust that will change
By the next time you come
I know you will come again
If you are called upon.

Stewart Russell © November 2017