Let me start adrift
And then I’ll come home
To the crux of the matter
Or, the meat on the bone.
Remember the song
“Those Three Little Words”
Which to your spouse
Was like having the world?
How they settled disputes
Before they grew
Yes, Those Three Little Words
I Love You?
But given today’s recession
There is a cut back
It’s two words now
With a greater impact.
Gentlemen, if you want your marriage to work
Here is what you do,
“Yes Dear” is now the magic words
Instead of “I Love You”.
When she calls out to you
It is, Yes Dear!
And if she doesn’t agree with your view
It is, Yes Dear!
If something is to be done right away
It is, Yes Dear!
And if she wants you to stay home on a work day
It is, Yes Dear!
And if she doesn’t like the friends you are keeping
It is, Yes Dear!
And if she wants you to sleep when she is sleeping
It is, Yes Dear!
And if she puts a curfew on you
It is, Yes Dear!
And if for each event her dress must be new
It is, Yes Dear!
And if she pesters you all through the day
It is, Yes Dear!
And if she wants you around but not in her way
It is, Yes Dear!
And if you know she is wrong but she thinks she is right
It is, Yes Dear!
And you’d rather be in the dark but she wants the light
It is, Yes Dear!
And she wants you do something you’d rather not do
It is, Yes Dear!
And you want to buy a lot but she says a few
It is, Yes Dear!
You want to give her half of the money but she wants all
It is, Yes Dear!
And you want to make a call and she says don’t call
It is, Yes Dear!
And she wants you to change from your Yes Dear reply
It is, Yes Dear!
But she doesn’t want you to ask her the reason why
It is, Yes Dear!
And the moment you stop she changes her mind
It is, Yes Dear!
And she wants you to say curtains instead of blinds
It is, Yes Dear!
And she feels you are unfaithful but you know you are not
It is, Yes Dear!
And she makes you promise you will immediately stop
It is, Yes Dear!
And she wants to check to make sure you comply
It is, Yes Dear!
And whatever she wants you must agree to buy
It is, Yes Dear!
And you want to be a man but she wants a yard boy
It is, Yes Dear!
And she wants you to be quiet and don’t even look annoyed
It is, Yes Dear!
And when all you have done she is still not satisfied
It is, Yes Dear!
And she wants you out of her sight so go and hide
It is, Yes Dear!
And after that she accuses you for not being around
It is, Yes Dear!
And wants you to agree you are the world’s biggest clown
It is, Yes Dear!
And she somehow realizes she is wrong and you are right
It is, Yes Dear!
But you must accept being wrong so she can be right
It is, Yes Dear!
So the two of you can live happily ever after
It is, Yes Dear!
And have a great marriage with lots of children and laughter
It is, Yes Dear!
And occasionally say I love you, like three times a day
It is, Yes Dear!
And sing along with her “We did it your way”
It is, Yes Dear!
Stewart Russell © October 2019
