When I heard the shout
The man had tumbled down,
I knew from ever since
That he was a clown.
A ball was on the roof
Some children knocked it there,
They were playing cricket
And the ball disappeared.
A youngster came and said
The ball was on the roof,
I told him he would get it later
And that was the gospel truth.
My husband had overheard
And told me of his plan,
He could not be thinking right
He had to be a foolish man.
‘Cause from when he was a boy
He was afraid of heights,
I said to him there and then
“You want to give me a fright?”
He waited till the boys were gone
And went under the cellar,
Next thing you know
I heard him take out the ladder.
He leaned it on the house
And up the ladder he climbed,
He paused at the very top
And then gingerly took his time.
He stepped off upon the roof
And my fears instantly went away,
I decided there and then
This must be his lucky day.
We were married for forty years
And not once had he done that,
He had an intense fear of heights
Both he and I knew that fact.
He threw down the ball to me
And then started his descent,
All of a sudden he slipped
And off the ladder he went.
I can’t tell whose shout was loudest
Whether his or mine,
All I know is in a split second
He was flat on his behind.
All of a sudden he was laughing
As if the whole thing was a joke,
I told him it wasn’t funny
And asked him, “Are You a goat?”
What if you had broken your neck
What would you have said?”
He replied, “I should have used my head
And listen to you, instead.”
I couldn’t believe what I heard
He actually admitted I was right,
That’s something he had never done
Neither morning, noon or night.
“But then it would be too late,”
I said, “Because you would be dead.”
It is only at this point
That I realized what I had said.
He looked at me incredulously
And said, “Never, never again.
To admit in death that you were right
Would surely drive me insane.”
Stewart Russell © November 2019
