Another Moronic Quarrel

 

 

Can’t get along with

Can’t get along without

But the fact they have stuck it out

Is without doubt.

 

 

Argument after argument

Quarrel after quarrel,

Where will this one end up?

Not even they can tell.

 

We need a bigger TV

We’ve outgrown this one,

Thirty-two years we have had it,

Time it was gone.

 

This is from Simpleton

Now hear Moron’s reply,

If it is not broken, don’t fix it!

With that she sighed.

 

But it’s too small, Moron

And difficult to see,

Ah, but my darling Simpleton,

Don’t blame the TV.

 

It is your spectacles

And I could wager a bet

So don’t blame the faithful TV,

Get a new set.

 

That’s what I mean, Moron,

Let us get a new TV set

And we would see everything better

And I won’t have to fret.

 

You’d still fret, my dear,

That’s your middle name

And should I give into you as always,

You’d win the game.

 

The TV shows perfect

Though just a thirteen inch

And I am sticking to my side:

I will not flinch.

 

But Moron, sweetie pie,

Pamper me, my dear,

Just take it out on hire purchase

With two years to pay.

 

All right, Simpleton,

Let me show you a fact,

This TV is bigger than all the rest

And I can prove that.

 

The TV that you’d wish,

What size television is it?

I would like a fifty-inch, Moron,

That would be a fit.

 

A fifty-inch, Simpleton!

Where did you see that?

Right here on our old television

From where I sat.

 

You saw a fifty-inch TV

On a thirteen-inch screen?

Why, in that case our TV is bigger-

Simpleton screamed.

 

It is very simple,

At least, it seems so to me

Anything would have to be smaller

To fit on our TV.

 

You are right, Moron,

I really didn’t see it so,

Anyhow, we still need a new TV

Cause a tube just blow.

 

What! A tube what?

You got to be kidding me!

Tell me the truth, Simpleton,

You mashed up the TV?

 

No, when I plugged it in

I just heard, “poof!”

It got tired carrying all that load-

That is my proof.

 

Why must a 13-inch TV

Carry a fifty-inch television?

Sooner or later, my dearest Moron,

It’d be out of commission.

 

So, buy a fifty inch

That can carry the load

And since we are now without a TV,

It’s an immediate goal.

 

A spanking new 50-inch

Stands on a TV stand

And the 13-inch TV sits on the top

As though a plan.

 

It started back working

As soon as the other arrived

And they are watched together-

Seriously, no jive.

 

Stewart Russell © August 4, 2025

 

Creatures of Routine

Ever noticed that’s you?

O that’s me too,

We’re both creatures of routine

Both me and you.

And as we get older

It becomes more so

It’s routine that helps us

Both you and I know.

I’ll leave you for a while

And talk about myself,

It’ll delay Alzheimer’s

And improve my health.

A regular term today

I am sure you’d agree

Especially among those

Who are older than me.

But back to the routine issue

Before I forget

And you begin to talk,

I am not there yet.

 

 

 

Creature of habit is another term

It means the same as routine,

The order we apply every day

To maintain a familiar scene.

I get up on mornings

And open the windows,

I unlock the gates

That’s the general flow.

Then I go to a place

You go there too,

Don’t turn up your nose

You know I mean you.

I compose a poem

Usually related to the Word,

On very rare occasions

It’s one that’s absurd.

I may or may not

Take breakfast, I mean

Then I try to catch up

On what has been.

The Nation and Barbados Today

Followed by devotions online,

Then it’s to my e-mail

To see what I will find.

Most days of the week

I have to leave home

Yes, and you guess it

I am seldom alone.

My wife travels with me

And that helps a lot,

She comes in handy

Regarding the things I forgot.

More often than not

There are several stops to make

So there’s a particular sequence

That I try to take.

Who wants to go back home

Having forgotten something

Or to have to head back out

When the telephone rings?

That’s enough about me

Now let’s get to you,

I know you have it down packed

But that’s just your view.

The same cup and plate

And the same drinking glass,

Heat the water in the kettle

Then put in the flask.

A regular cup of tea

All through the day

And all three meals at a set time,

That’s some people’s way.

  

The same seat in church

Every time you attend

And the same routine on Sundays

Your church knows the trend.

Same parking spot

Once nobody parks there

And that is rather seldom

Since you take especial care.

You arrive there early

To get both park and seat

And during that time

You can both meet and greet.

Let us return again

To what happens at home,

Regarding the following routines

None of us is alone.

Spectacles in the same spot

When not on the face,

We need them to search for them

When they are not in that place.

The cellphone can be a problem

Though not for the young,

It’s always in their hands

There it can always be found.

With the older ones

It’s quite a different scene,

They want to know

Who moved it from where it’s been.

Routine and habit

 Custom and procedure,

Success when we stick to it

And when we don’t there’s failure.

It’s a stress reliever

We try to convince everyone

And we try to sustain it

From dawn till dawn.

  

Everyone has a bit

Though some more than others

And the older one gets

The more it becomes a bother.

The older we get

It is all that we remember,

And when people try to change us

We don’t easily surrender.

The ignorant among us

Begin to call us names

Like obstinate and presumptuous

And even sometimes insane.

But their time will come

If they get old enough

Though they may be so into Alzheimer’s

They won’t know how tough.

Only this afternoon

We could not find the phone,

It is kept on the stand

And it stands there alone.

It was so ridiculous

See us looking everywhere

Even the strangest of places

Such was our fear.

Perhaps I flushed it

The wife had suggested

But I didn’t pay her any mind

I just wasn’t interested.

We looked and we looked

But the phone could not be found,

I began to feel responsible

And next I felt like a clown.

With a hundred guesses

You still would not know

But would you believe

The phone was left on the patio?

I rested it out there

In order to shift some plants

Knowing I would never forget it

No not a chance.

But alas it happened

And I felt particularly silly

For even though a creature of routine

It still happened to me.

Stewart Russell © June 2018