Much Ado About Nothing

 

 

I have written at length

On the reality of nothing

Only to realize when nothing is used

There is something.

 

Nothing is something

That is not clearly defined

And oft leaves a lasting impression

On everyone’s mind.

 

Nothing’s in the pantry,

Nothing’s in her purse,

What is it that you have done?

Nothing is rehearsed.

 

Even the little child

When asked what he’d done

Would adamantly reply nothing

And then he’d run.

 

Nothing is something

We are often told

And many scientists do believe

It’s billions of years old.

 

As a matter of fact

You might have heard

That nothing created the world,

Though absurd.

 

In the beginning

Was absolutely nothing

And through the power of nothing

We have everything.

 

So, if you have nothing

You really have everything,

So, relax and just take it all in stride;

And in the meantime, sing.

 

What caused Big Bang?

It was nothing, of course,

Nothing is like nothing, you see,

When nothing’s the force.

 

 

Nothing is the cause

That caused everything,

And without nothing, I dare say,

Would be not a thing.

 

A weird rendering

Of John chapter 1 verse 3

Replacing Jesus with nothing,

How can this be?

 

All things

Were made by nothing;

And without nothing was not anything made

 That was made.

 

Much ado about nothing

We have often stated

But never in reference at any time

To things created.

 

It blows my mind

And absolutely so

Regarding the absurd lengths

To which people go.

 

Failing to believe

In the omnipotent God,

They argue nothing is first cause;

Nothing created it all.

 

 

Genesis is a myth

And should not be believed

Whereas nothing is more credible

And should be received.

 

Why is there something

Rather than nothing?

Because of nothing, dear Watson,

Nothing’s everything.

 

Nothing, you see,

Is greater than God

So, who needs a fictional creator

When nothing is all? 

 

Nothing, you see,

Is greater than God:

This statement is true and false;

Please, no applause.

 

True for the creationist

And false for the atheist

Depending on where nothing comes

On either one’s list.

 

Nothing is greater

Than the Almighty God,

This most certainly must be true

Since God created all.

 

Nothing is greater

Than the Almighty God,

For the atheist this must be false

Since nothing is first cause.

 

Be content with nothing

For nothing is gain,

Power to all who have nothing

Has to be insane.

 

Be satisfied, I urge you,

With nothing from now

And you will be sure to get through,

I guarantee somehow.

 

 

Note my sarcasm

Regarding getting through,

Falling would be a better expression;

What think you?

 

Stewart Russell © July 28, 2025

 

Real Mathematics

 

 

One and one is two

And two and two is six,

If you were my teacher

I’d be getting “licks”,

 

But yet you can read

That is what you’d say

And particularly so

Especially in this day.

 

I was a teacher too

And still in my right mind

But now I’m getting old

This happens all the time.

 

I am assuming

You understand English

So that what is in verse one

Is not simply my wish.

 

Hence we’ll move on a little

In our Mathematics

And hopefully as you read

I’ll get you out this fix.

 

No doubt you are thinking

I am kind of mixed up,

I am old but not that old

So you are out of luck.

 

 

One and two is three

And three and three is nine,

If you add correctly

It will be right each time.

 

No I am not mad

And neither am I blind

And neither is new mathematics

Messing with my mind.

 

If verses one and seven

Were taken just as written

I assure you my friend

You’d see your problem.

 

Take lines one and two

Of verses one and seven,

Write them down in figures

And easily do the problem.

 

 

One from two leaves two

And five from six leaves six,

Depending on what you mean

This could be a fix.

 

If it were a case of eating

That might work out well

But in another case

It may be difficult to sell.

 

The items may be around

But in a different form,

Five dead sheep and one alive

Six is still that norm.

 

Remove the dead sheep

And the answer would be one

But if the opposite were true

Not a sheep would be gone.

 

 

I hope you are not confused

Or even experiencing strife,

This is real mathematics

And you have to factor in life.

 

They tell me I am mad

And my thing is so weird

But if you still don’t understand

Your thinking is impaired.

 

Stewart Russell © November 2018

 

More on Moron

 

 

Moron by name

Moron by nature,

When it comes to being silly

Moron is a fixture.

 

 

Moron is married

To Mrs. Moron of course

And all the trying they do

They can’t get divorce.

 

They don’t get along

But can’t get away

And they have been like this

For many a year.

 

Incident after incident

Frequent and weird,

Here is another one of them;

Don’t be scared.

 

They were all alone,

No one else was around,

They had retired to their beds

And were lying down.

 

Mr. Moron snores

But Mrs. Moron does not,

She has never heard herself;

He thinks it’s rot.

 

She set out to prove

That she does not snore,

She’s been listening attentively

More and more.

 

 

“No evidence,” she says,

“I’ve been listening a lot,

I haven’t heard a single snore

While sleeping on my cot.”

 

 

“You can’t hear well,”

Mr. Moron countered,

“So, your no evidence tells me

You’re off your rocker."

 

So, this night in question

They were both asleep,

They were so dead to the world

They couldn’t hear a peep.

 

Quietly she awoke

As not to disturb him

And there lay with her eyes open

Taking in the night’s din.

 

She checked the clock

It was half-past two,

She slept not another wink

Convinced of her view.

 

“I know I don’t snore,”

She convinced herself,

“It’s he that has the problem

Of poor mental health.”

 

The clocked alarmed

On the dot of six

And she woke up Mr. Moron

With some cuffs and kicks.

 

He slept strongly

And didn’t like to wake

So, rousing him from deep sleep

Was no cake.

 

She finally woke him

After quite a chore

And she excitedly blurted out,

“I tell you I don’t snore.”

 

 

“How did you find out?”

He sleepily responded,

“I was up all night listening,”

She angrily rebounded.

 

 

“From half-past two

I was up until six

And the only snoring I heard,

Came from your lips.”

 

  

“I know I snore,

I have no argument there

And though I’ve never heard,

I really don’t care.

 

As for you

You could not snore all you like

But please don’t wake me up

In the middle of the night.”

 

 

Mrs. Moron was annoyed

At this stupid man

And right there and then

She came up with a plan.

 

She had to convince him

That she didn’t snore

And she made a determination

He would sleep no more.

 

At least, until he admitted

That she didn’t snore

Her poor moronic husband

Would sleep no more.

 

 

Every night thereafter

He had to be awake

And she couldn’t sleep either

Until it was too late.

 

 

And since neither slept

Neither could snore

So, Mr. Moron agreed she didn’t

And they fought no more.

 

See how easy that was?

Morons are smart,

With Mr. and Mrs. Moron

It was so from the start.

 

Here is the question:

Who made the more sense?

This would be Mr. Moron of course

Ladies, take no offense.

 

Stewart Russell © July 2, 2024

 

Isn’t This Weird?

 

The king made a decree

Which his subject did contravene

And his kingdom waited expectantly

For the inevitable scene.

 

Depending on the offense

It could be a flogging or even death

But sometimes at the king’s discretion,

Incarceration might be best.

 

The punishment for this crime

Was a flogging in the public square

Which the old and decrepit subject

Was clearly unable to bear.

 

 

But the decree must be upheld

For it carried the seal of the king,

There was no way of escaping the flogging

Unless somebody stood in for him.

 

But surely, he would die

A death not befitting his crime

And this small matter of an injustice

Held the kingdom in a bind.

 

The king made one last call

For a family member or a friend

That would be willing to take the flogging

In place of old emaciated Ben.

 

Family members there were

But there was nary a single friend

Whereupon the king decided

To bring the matter to its end.

 

 

He stepped into the public square

In his hand was the royal strap,

He quickly stripped the clothes away

From off his kingly back.

  

Then turning to the offender, he said

For you I’ll take the flogging,

This took his subjects by surprise

As it was quite mind-boggling.

 

For the king had done no wrong

Yet this man’s punishment he took,

He, it was, that had made this law

And he played it by the book.

 

“The soul that sins it shall die”

This was the penalty God prescribed,

Eternal death was our just desert

And justice could not be denied.

 

 

Hence, walk Jesus up Calvary’s hill

His back was already laid bare,

Beaten, ridiculed and finally crucified

As to that cross he was nailed.

 

In giving His Son God gave himself

And became the sacrificial lamb,

And in this way His justice was served

In implementing salvation’s plan.

 

Isn’t this weird, I ask again,

That a king for His subjects would die,

Suffering under His own decree

That His justice would be satisfied?

 

 

It’s a thought that’s too deep for us

And hence, we consider it weird,

But only God could have done as much

That’s why none with Him compares.

 

Only God can satisfy His own justice

Concomitantly, not one of us could,

Hence, the offer of His Son for you and me

On that rugged cross of wood.

 

Stewart Russell © November 18, 2020