The Snore Catcher

 

 

Everybody snores

I have heard this is true

But I am not so very certain

Tell me, are you?

 

Some argue they don’t

As if they can hear themselves,

If this were possible

I could believe in elves.

 

However, hear this:

I can capture your snoring,

Of course, you’d have to trust me,

You’d have no way of knowing.

 

I tried it with my wife

And she didn’t even know

That I am the snore catcher

That captured her snore.

 

I can prove it too

If you think you need proof,

I have the evidence to show

I am telling the truth.

 

It matters not the snore

Whether high pitch or low,

It could be the recessive snore

Of the one that grows.

 

 

It could be a whisper

Or a tiger-like growl,

It could be the coo of a pigeon

Or coyote’s howl.

 

Whatever the sound

I can capture your snore

And you will have no doubt,

But won’t know for sure.

 

No longer you’ll argue

That you never snore

For I would have captured it

And you will know.

 

Tried and tested!

I am the snore catcher,

Once you give me a chance

You won’t have to bother.

 

Of course, you’d be asleep

And won’t know a thing

Just like you don’t have a clue

When you are sleeping.

 

You can give me a call

At the number below

And I will tell you exactly

Where you can go…

 

To have your snore captured

Then you’ll know for sure

That like everybody else

You also snore.

 

46 86 233

 

 

Grab your cellphone

To understand this code

And with a little commonsense

The place you will know.

 

When you get there

Call me before you sleep

And I will capture your snore

Once your sleep is deep.

 

Shallow sleep won’t work

That I can assure

For if one is having a dream

They cannot snore.

So that number again

If you are willing to trust me,

The snore catcher signing off

46 86 233.

 

Stewart Russell © March 2, 2024