My Barber

 

I have a special barber

That always cuts my hair,

He’s is extremely good I tell you;

To me, this is clear.

 

I am his only client

Although he is so good

And no doubt you wonder why

And I guess you should.

 

Only one client

And he does it for free,

He stops whatever he is doing

Just for me.

 

I suppose you’d say

That makes me special

Since my barber is mine alone

And no other people.

 

Sometimes very early

Or very late at night,

Once I request my barber

It is always all right.

 

 

He has time for me

Whenever I call

And what really amazes me,

There’s no charge at all.

 

And he takes his time

As you would expect,

Thus, a shout out to him today-

Much respect!

 

Two mirrors he uses:

A front one and a back,

In his left hand he holds one

And this is a fact.

 

This one he looks in

To see the back and sides

And expertly around my head

His scissors glide.

 

He would also shave

My mustache and my beard

And at no point in this mission

Am I ever scared.

 

Scissors in his right hand

A mirror in his left,

And I would not tell you a lie,

He is expertly deft.

 

 

So, next time you see me,

Check it for yourself,

My barber is never injurious

To my health.

 

A little slip may occur

But this is very rare,

It's never anything serious;

Au contraire!

 

I am my own barber

By now you know,

My head is the only evidence

You'll see on show.

 

Stewart Russell © November 21, 2024

 

Any Ass Would Do

 

 

Easy there now, my friend,

No need to get upset,

Don’t think I am into expletives,

Don’t you dare bet.

 

I am into the Bible:

A narrative grabs my mind,

An event involving a man’s ass

Speaking at the time.

 

Now that you remember

You may think it special:

A talking jackass, if you please,

Not one that we tether.

 

There was nothing special

About Balaam’s jackass,

Not sure whether male or female

So, we can let that pass.

 

What we do know for sure

Is that it was an ass,

Check out the Bible for yourself:

That’s an easy task.

 

Numbers 22 verses 22-33:

Go to that location

And you will see what happened

On that occasion.

 

Like most jackasses

Balaam’s ass was faithful

But like jackasses he never talked

Because he was not able.

 

Nothing special, I reiterate,

About Balaam’s talking jackass

But like all hardworking asses

It was faithful in the past.

 

 

Well, except for that day

When its way was blocked,

It had noticed an angel in the way

Which Balaam had not.

 

God opened the ass’s mouth

And then opened Balaam’s eyes,

That order may have taken you

By mental surprise.

 

Balaam was mighty slow

Quite unlike his jackass

Which was far more alert than he

Of the blockage in the path.

 

Must have been special,

I note you are still adamant

But if you don’t know the Creator

You are gravely ignorant.

 

Let me therefore reiterate

My unswerving view,

Once in the hand of Almighty God

Any ass would do.

 

 

Such was Balaam’s ass

That yielded to God’s control,

Quite unlike his stupid master

Who was wrong yet bold.

 

Any ass would do

Doesn’t mean me or you,

Only asses like Balaam’s jackass:

Of the braying crew.

 

A talking jackass?

Nothing’s wrong with this,

God is the one who created the ass;

This we shouldn’t miss.

 

Stewart Russell © March 31, 2025