By now you can see
Where Moron and Smartie be,
Clearly Smartie is a resolute ‘B’
And Moron is ‘D’.
Bear this in mind
As we continue this episode,
Different political alliances yet allies
They continue to show.
Here is the question
That now occupies their mind:
“From year number fifty-two to year number sixty,
How much did Bim grow in this time?”
This is the Auntie Mia years
Eight years to-date,
Of course, with any PM you and I know
There is a mix of love and hate.
“So, Moron, wuh you tink
‘Bout de question dey ask?”
“Well, Smartie, as you know, as for me,
Dat is a difficult task.
Cause as you done know,
I en no Mia fan
And unlike you and all de BLP yard fowl,
I doan find she too grand.
But um is very true
That she cat-spaddle we:
Thirty-love, thirty-love and thirty-love again
Really mash up de DLP.
But wid a 3-peat like dat
And a mandate so large,
All that Mia did as far as I can see
Was to be large and in charge.
And as a Mottley,
Dat is truly who she be:
Very large and very in charge
Over dis country.”
“But wait, Moron,
Dat is all you got to say,
Despite de fact o’ you admitting
DLP lost dey way?
Wuh, Mia rescue we
Especially in de COVID,
Secure de vaccine fuh we from India,
O yes, she did.
And she gih people money
To help dem each week.
Nuh wundah duh call she Auntie Mia,
Man she too sweet.
She raised de pensions
Especially fuh de poor,
My pension went up near 50 percent,
I wish um was more.”
“But Smartie,
You din even contribbit
And now you getting de same as me,
Yuh cud go and check it.
She promise to cah up mine too
But um en happen yet.
De funny ting, Smartie, is that I contribbit
But she en keeping dat debt.
While I glad you get sumpting
I still tink it was onfair,
She shud da do sumpting fuh de rest;
Dat shud da be clear.
Eight years she did in
Wid nearly all o’ de seats
And a promise she mek back in 2018
She cahn even keep.”
“Wuh nearly all o’ de seats?
Moron, she win all!
She lick de pants off you and you party
Whenever de elections call.
Had it not fuh dem betrayers,
You know de two I mean:
De Bishop and de one dey call de RAT
We wudda wipe it clean.
Yuh en see de same RAT
Mash up de DLP
And now we got Lashley and Sinkler
In we party?
I went an’ vote fuh Lashley
‘Cause he done wid de DLP
An’ I moving wid any and everybody
That wid Mia Mottley.”
“I hear you, Smartie,
Evahting like um gine you way
But night does run till day ketch it,
I will get my day.”
“By de time you day get hey
You gun be in Westbury
And you gine be one disgruntle
And restless duppy.
I only hope, Moron,
Duh doan bury you near me
‘Cause just like in life and all like now,
You gine cause me misery.”
“Wuh Smartie, who older?
Wuh, you older than me
An’ I gine be around for a long time
After you dead an’ bury.
But getting back to de point,
You en suh nutting yet.
If you want to talk ‘bout wuh Mia do,
Why not talk ‘bout we debt?
Billions of dollars in debt
And borrowing to pay back,
Borrowing from Harry to pay back Paul
An’ de poor still lack.
Cahn even see wuh she doing
Or weh de money gone,
Yuh know wuh de ole people used to say,
It must be gone in Maxwell pond.
Borrowin’, borrowin’, borrowin’,
Dat is all she doin’
And poor Bajans like me and you
Sufferin’, sufferin’, sufferin’.”
“Moron, please gih me chance
Leh me talk now
‘Cause I listen to you criticizing my PM
And cahn get in a word, nuh how.”
“All right, Smartie,
I gine gih you a chance,
Okay, muh boy, open yuh mout’
And do yuh dance.”
"Okay, Mia bring ‘bout reform
And transformation,
Nuff people get tek from paying tax:
Land tax and income taxation.
During COVID-19
De school children get tablets
So dey could continue to study pun line
And do work de teachers set.
De cost o’ living come down
Wid a basket o’ goods,
She tek de VAT off o’ them food items
Like a good PM should.
She get jobs fuh nuff people
An’ raise de minimum wage,
She had private enterprise quarrelling
An’ dey were in a rage.
She improve school meals
And cut down pun sweets
‘Cause de trildren like dey had demons
So to speak.
She appoint more women
To hifalutin’ jobs
And get rid o’ de lot o’ dark tint pun cars
Dat criminals use to kill and rob.
She help de sports people
And even sponsor football
By adding she title to a competition
But dat en all.
She went all ‘bout de world
Trying to get help fuh we
An' you and all dem discarded scondrels
Just criticize she.
She form links wid India an’ China
And de Mudder Country,
All o’ dat she do and much more
Fuh ungrateful we.
She is de best PM we evah had,
I could swear to dat
An' bring we to de position to be a republic,
Dat is a true fact.
She got international acclaim
More than any past PM,
She even got more than Uncle Errol
And more than Owen.
Moron, I cud go on and on
But to you it wun mek sense
‘Cause you is Moron by name and nature
It’d only be an offense.
Plus, I got stuff to do
And cahn waste nuh more time,
I got a farm to run and people to feed
An dat pun my mind.”
“Okay Smartie, I en done yet
But you know how to run,
Nevah you mind, de next time we meet,
It’ll be crime and de gun.”
An doan tink I fuhget
De Constitution en come yet,
Two elections and five years of promising
And she en fix dat debt.
But I wun be suprise, Smartie,
If she borrow to fix dat too,
Anyway, my ole friend, I is a farmer
Just like you.
And I have to be ‘bout dat
In order that I may survive,
I may be Moron by name and nature
But I still know how to thrive.
An all dat I get
I get under Errol Walton Barrow
An he din have to borrow nearly as much
As Mia Mottley borrow.”
Okay Moron, I hear you,
Until next time
Whenevah we get another chance
To speak we mind.”
Stewart Russell © November 7, 2026
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