“Tell Me Why”

I said a prayer

That I did not believe

I had prayed for healing

But no healing I received.

Something was wrong

Very wrong with this

But I couldn’t tell

What it was I missed.

I prayed again

And I tried to believe

But the result was the same

No healing was received.

“What is wrong?”

I wondered out loud

I was even humbled

I was not proud.

Again I prayed

With much humility

But the sickness I had

Still affected me.

“Maybe,” I thought,

“I should pray longer.”

So I diligently complied

And I believed stronger.

Yes, you guessed right

I was still not relieved

So I started to doubt

I felt I was deceived.

Maybe my faith

Was not strong enough

Maybe I needed

To be much more tough.

I gathered my wits

And I prayed again

I was more assertive

In spite of my pain.

I focused on God

And I prayed fervently

But whatever His reason

He did not heal me.

“But some get healing

Why not me?” I thought,

You guessed right again

I was more distraught.

I did not pray alone

Others prayed too

But why I wasn’t healed

I wish I knew.

Perhaps I regarded

Iniquity in my heart

So towards serious reflection

I made a start.

I thought of the persons

I may have wronged

I asked their forgiveness

And I moved along.

Then I went to God

In prayer again

But it made no difference

To my sickness and pain.

Maybe I did not give

As much as I should

So I redoubled my effort

And gave what I could.

I searched my heart

To see what I could find

And I made the adjustment

Each and every time.

Yet when I returned

To praying again

I received no relief

From my sickness or pain.

  

In pain all the time

And in discomfort too

No healing forthcoming

I wish I knew.

If God is my Father

And I am His child

Please tell me why

My healing is denied.

I posed this question

To several believers

Some had said to me

They were constant receivers.

They had a success rate

That was second to none

Once they prayed

The matter was done.

They pointed to cases

For which they had prayed

And I thought to myself,

“Where have I strayed?”

I was very convinced

Of a block to my prayer

Since I was told

That God truly cared.

I believed this too

And I really did

But I couldn’t understand

Why His mercy He hid.

I came to the conclusion

His answer was no

So I decided to give up

And go with the flow.

I still have the sickness

Up to this day

But others were healed

When they prayed.

  

Why them and not me?

I wish I knew.

Signed: a believer in Christ

And “one just like you too”.

Stewart Russell © July 2018