Uh Cahn Tell

 

 

“Tell me about this mess.”

“Officer, tell de trute, Uh cahn tell.”

“But weren’t you an eyewitness?”

Officer Uh tell yuh, Uh cahn tell.

 

“What do you really mean?

“Uh mean just whuh Uh tell yuh.”

“But you were at the scene.”

Officer, leave me nuh!

 

Uh cahn tell, I tell yuh.

“Do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know whuh you trying

But I en tell you so.”

 

“I find that hard to believe,

You have to know something.”

Officer, talk whuh you like,

I cahn tell nuttin.”

 

“So, you don’t know anything

And that’s why you can’t tell?”

“Officer, I en telling nuttin

Cause I just cahn tell.”

 

“Okay mam, so tell me this.

You mean your vision was obscured?”

“Uh just cahn tell,

My vision en blurred.”

 

“You are a hard witness though.

Just tell me what you saw.”

“Witness to what, Officer?

Uh cahn tell, that is all.”

 

“Let me take another angle.”

Won’t help, I en know no geometry.”

“Let’s get serious, woman,

Don’t be funny!

 

By you cahn tell

Do you mean you don’t know

Or that you are not willing to tell me

What you know to be so?”

 

“Officer I too old to be tricked

By de likes of you.

I tell you that I cahn tell.

You could tek whichever view.

 

Officer, I tell you I cahn tell

And nuttin en changing dat!

You could arrest me or charge me

But dah’s de fact!”

 

 

“Lady, you’ve given me nothing

To help me here.

“Uh cahn tell” is rather ambiguous;

It’s neither here nor there.

 

“Lady, I could have you summon

To appear before a judge.”

Go ‘head if dat is how you feel

But I will still not budge.”

 

“Uh cahn tell is where I begin

And Uh cahn tell is where I end,

And this is one story, Officer,

That you cannot bend.

 

In you report all you can write

Is that she say Uh cahn tell,

Even you Officer, cahn get dat wrong

And dat suits me well.”

 

If she knows or she knows not

“Uh cahn tell” does not say

So, we’ll just have to let that rest

And maybe try another day.

 

“Uh cahn tell.”

 

Stewart Russell © June 13, 2023