Simpleton’s Response

 

 

You’d recall Christmas morning

And how Moron behaved in church,

And Simpleton’s annoyance with him

And how much she felt hurt.

 

Embarrassed is a better word,

It was in front of her church family

And as expected, on reaching home,

She exploded angrily.

 

“Moron by name and nature!”

She shouted at the top of her voice,

“You forced me to act violently in church

Thus giving me no choice.”

 

Your behavior was deplorable

And that is the least that I can say,

I thought you’d have made an exception

At least for Christmas Day.

 

And what did you expect?

That’s the suit you wear to funerals,

And besides the jacket is big enough

To comfortably hold two people.

 

Contrastingly I must add,

The shoes are one size too small

And obviously they will burn you,

That is all!

 

You kept pulling at your tie

As though you are a little child

And what is more, that atrocious frown

Made you look like you had died.

 

 

As a matter of fact, dear Moron,

I really wish you had

For you would have behaved better

And I wouldn’t feel so bad.

 

And worst of all, my pastor,

When he began his preaching,

Before he finished reading the Scripture

You were already sleeping.

 

Hence, the punch in your ribs

And that rude awakening!

It was my way of saying, dear Moron,

You should be listening.

 

And tell me what did you hear

If anything at all?

Yet, when the service finally ended

You applauded the loudest of all.” 

 

 

I guess you must be saying

Moron’s wife cannot be a simpleton

For all that she has said so far

Is of a sensible expression.

 

But you would recall, dear reader,

While Moron wanted to get home

And even as we speak, my friend,

He is in another zone.

 

While Simpleton was pontificating

Moron was actually sleeping,

And hence, he never could respond

While his wife was speaking.

 

Yes, so finally you get it,

Simpleton was talking to herself

But in this there is some consolation,

Regarding her mental health.

 

I hear it’s good to talk to yourself

But never to answer back

So, Simpleton had a talk with herself,

But it never became a chat.

 

For to have become a chat

She would have had to answer back,

In this she was particularly clever

Since a responder she had lacked.

 

Quite fitting for one another:

Our Simpleton and Moron,

A perfect match, you may disagree,

Though a confusing union.

 

Stewart Russell © December 10, 2022