Strange Sayings and Imaginings

 

 

There are some things we say in life

Which make no sense at all

Yet the brilliant and the otherwise use them

To explain experiences which on them fall.

 

Take for example the following,

“I actually laugh till I cry,”

“And boy I was so frightened

I almost thought I had died.”

 

Wrap your mind around these two,

“He disappeared before I could blink,”

“There is so much noise in this place

I cannot even hear myself think.”

 

Often when conveying the impossible

Regarding some experience that really hurt’

We may say, “See you when hell freezes over”

Or “When Satan ice skates to work.”

 

To someone you haven’t seen for a while

“You come to see me every blue moon,”

Or “If I see you on the twelfth of never

Even that day will be much too soon.”

 

Grab this, “In this place is so dark

It would be impossible to find myself,”

“Last Saturday morning was so miserable

It was in fact ruinous to my health.”

If in the dark I almost found it

I am sure I would if there was light,

But like so many similar situations

My lost object never came to sight.

 

I should have gone where there was light

Perhaps then I would have found it,

Lost items are only lost in the dark

So searching in the light is the trick.

 

I remember when time stood still

It was in the time of Joshua I think

All of the clocks must have ceased to tick

When the sun refused to sink.

 

“Everyone is unique,” it’s often stated

And so unique appears quite common,

If in this world that were really true

Then unique would be a regular person.

 

“The road to success,” someone once said,

“Is always under construction.”

To me then there is never success

But no failure either is my consolation.

 

You don’t know what you’ve got till you lose it

That sounds quite sound I suppose

But how it works out I will never know

Since to losing what I’ve got I am opposed.

 

“Practice makes perfect,” is one to reject

Especially when one looks at the world

For the practice that is is the practice to flee

Since this world is on a downward curve.

 

“Fat chance and slim chance”

Are really one and the same

Considering they both mean no chance at all

And to attempt that feat would be insane.

 

“Nothing is impossible” is quite off track

Since the impossible should never be attempted,

For nothing is possible if you just sit back

And all success would be pre-empted.

 

Would be good people have a “clear conscience”

But how in reality could this be?

For a clear conscience would be empty too

And its owner would be of no use to society.

 

They say “People change with time”

But time does not change; it merely goes on

Through its daily cycle of morning and evening

And then finally it’s back to the dawn.

 

A little with content is great gain

So the ancient proverb says

But how much is content really worth

In these exacting and frustrating days?

“It’s no use crying over spilt milk”

For “That is how the cookie crumbles,”

It’s “The foot in the shoe that feels the pinch”

So leave me alone and let me grumble.

 

Then there is the matter of the pants

They always come in pairs but are only one,

Perhaps they would be better as a pair of legs

But then again my sanity is gone.

 

“To flog a child is to teach him violence

That’s the problem with the world,”

This is the stance of the academic gurus

Whose vision is now irreparably blurred.

 

A check would show that today’s lawbreakers

Didn’t get much of the strap anyway

For from early in life they had bolted and gone

They were bent on going astray.

 

Some pit education against commonsense

And see them as opposed to one another,

I would rather oppose this misguided fallacy

For the two are bond up in each other.

 

Commonsense is needed in education

Education is the application of commonsense

One cannot exist without the other

Herein rests the case for the defense.

 

Let me end with this impossible one:

How oft have you said I am coming back now?

Did you manage to keep your word?

I doubt anyone has ever kept that vow.

 

Perhaps one might want to argue

That “now” pertains to whatever time

So that if and whenever I should return

“Now” would still be quite in line.

 

In this penultimate verse I will simply repeat

That if in the dark you almost found it

Then there is no need to seek out the light

For in the light “almost” will still be your habit.

 

 

These are some things we say in life

Which make no sense at all,

Yet the brilliant and the otherwise use them

To explain experiences which on them fall.

 

Stewart Russell © 2017