The bumming on the door
Could be heard both far and near,
He was locked out of his house
To me, that was clear.
I stood up not far off
To see what he would do
But the bumming only continued
With nothing else in view.
Mr. Moron had lived there
With his wife, Mrs. Simpleton
And all of their neighbours were aware
Of their common problem.
Take Moron by name
And add Simpleton by nature
And between the two of them
You’d get the total picture.
Mr. Moron was sweeping the step
When a gust of wind blew the door in,
He didn’t have a key
And started up a din.
He kept on bumming on the door
While exercising his lungs
And his voice could be heard
Calling out for Simpleton.
Simpleton! Simpleton!
Try and open this door!
And hearing no response
He pommelled the door more.
It was as though
This door was his wife
Whom he had often beaten
Within an inch of her life.
It was their modus operandi
For they have never fallen out
And with him now on the outside
It was his time to shout.
Suddenly she was standing beside him
With a quizzical face,
“Moron,” she asked him,
Why are you knocking down the place?
“I want you to let me in,
Cause I locked myself out.”
And with that
The two of them started to shout.”
“Let us in! Let us in!
Whoever is inside!
This is our humble dwelling place
And it is here we abide.”
They said this repeatedly,
Obviously, this had happened before
So, they kept on banging and shouting
And threatening the door.
“If you were inside,” Moron said,
You could open the door
And we wouldn’t have to fret
And shout out anymore.”
“That’s a brilliant idea,”
Mrs. Simpleton said to Mr. Moron,
“But I am locked out too
And that is the problem!”
“Let’s pretend you were inside
Then you could open the door,
And I would be able to come in
And not be out here anymore.”
“Okay, so I am in the house
And I have opened the door,
Now you can come in, you moron,
Don’t stand out there anymore.”
The bumming had stopped
But now it started up again,
“Simpleton! Simpleton! Try and open this door!”
Tell me my dear reader, which would you blame?
Stewart Russell © May 2020
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