“Just One More Thing”

 

 

“Just one more thing”

Does this sound familiar?

Just when I thought he’d finished

He popped another.

 

Another question, I mean,

And one most unexpected,

Causing the disconcerted suspect

To look rather dejected.

 

He was in the clear

Or so the suspect thought

But now he was totally bowled over

As well as quite distraught.

 

I guess by now you know

I mean Lieutenant Colombo

And for all those still in the dark,

This is a television show.

 

A clever police detective

Who easily throws one off,

Just a fleeting glance at his attire

And one is likely to scoff.

 

 

 

His car is distinctly decrepit

Clearly from an age long ago

And his droopy eared canine friend,

Both fit in with Colombo.

 

“Just one more thing”

What a nuisance is Colombo!

And as you watch him interrogate

It’s a marvel what he knows.

 

A piece of *ABC chewing gum

Or an ordinary tyre track,

Simple clues ordinarily overlooked

He’d use to prove a fact.

 

And he is no slump

If it comes to technology

For he is an absolute professional

At demystifying a mystery.

 

Especially in a frame-up

And the evidence seems clear-cut,

There is invariably that little slip

And the culprit is out of luck.

 

“Just one more thing”

He wasn’t looking for that

And out of the clear blue it seems

The case is suddenly cracked.

 

Unkempt and lacking poise

And foolishly looking,

Sounding rather unintelligent

And always smoking.

 

 

A cheap brand of cigar

Adding to his sorry disguise,

Another characteristic of Colombo

Re the element of surprise.

 

Brilliant men flounder

And very clever women slip,

They all fall prey to Colombo’s bag

Of extraordinary tricks.

 

Please don’t be misled

By the way Colombo looks,

Just watch one of his TV episodes

And you will be hooked.

 

 

“Just one more thing”

Please watch it very closely,

Spot the clues as early as you can

If you are as smart as he.

 

Lieutenant Colombo

My favourite television show,

“Just one more thing”

And that’s the final blow.

 

*ABC…Already Been Chewed

 

Stewart Russell © October 1, 2024

 

Death Is Treatable

 

 

 

Death, I assure you,

Is a treatable condition,

Like the bug-bearer, cancer,

It goes into remission.

 

It is not a disease

As some want to believe

But rather, a state of not being,

Oh, I feel so relieved.

 

It is not infectious

Like a laugh or a smile

So that you cannot catch it

But it lasts for a while.

 

It is treatable

Yes, a cure has been found!

So, please don’t be in a hurry

To go underground.

 

If someone has died

That you know quite well,

Let them stay above ground

At least for a spell.

 

 

We are on the cusp

Of something really great,

Technology can treat to death

It need not be a date.

 

The moment one dies

Quickly swap out his brain,

Give him a heart transplant

And change all his veins.

 

Give him a blood transfusion

And reinstall his mind,

Then run him on solar power

For an appropriate time.

 

Closely monitor him

For a day or two

Just to make sure he is himself

And not me or you.

 

Now you know as I do

That death is treatable

And all one needs to do is die

To prove it is possible.

 

Any candidates out there?

I won’t be the first!

Death is a one-time happening

And cannot be rehearsed.

 

It is treatable, though,

Try it out for yourself,

You would be a good candidate

If you have poor health.

 

You must die first

If you expect this to work

And it is a painless procedure,

It does not hurt.

 

One thing more

That I almost forgot,

You must not lose consciousness…

At least, not the whole lot.

 

 

If you are conscious

This procedure is possible

And I guarantee you at the end,

It will be successful.

 

Yes, death is treatable

Like any normal disease,

Trust me on this one, my friend,

And don’t be a tease.

 

“Why not me?” you asked,

Is this what I heard?

If I am hearing you correctly

You’ve got to be absurd.

 

I can’t try it for you,

That wouldn’t make sense,

I mean, your death is treatable,

Please, no offense.

 

Stewart Russell © October 10, 2023

Facebook Friend Requests

 

 

Facebook is something else

I mean really something though,

Sending me friend requests

From people I don’t even know.

 

Friend request after request,

There are so many on my list

That for the most part I ignore

And hope Facebook would desist.

 

But they just keep on coming

Local, regional, international too,

Some already my Facebook family

And maybe even from you.

 

But this one truly stumped me

And this is only recently,

A friend request from someone

Not only dead but buried.

 

 

A Facebook friend request

Straight from the great beyond

And this is a former teaching colleague

Who has long been gone.

 

I know of one other person

To whom this has also happened,

If the dead is now using Facebook

We ought to feel threatened.

 

I’ve been made to understand

That Facebook uses an algorithm

That brings together users of like tastes

As part of its operating system.

 

Having received such a request

I have telephoned for confirmation

Only to be met with a response

Of resolute negation.

 

Now what really concerns me

Are requests from the dead,

This kind of operation by Facebook

Is messing with my head.

 

 

Dare I telephone the dead

To ascertain such a friend request,

I would be considered a lunatic

With zero intelligence left.

 

However, here is what I will do

The next time the opportunity arises,

I will investigate this matter

And share with you any surprises.

 

 

 

Next time I go to a graveyard

I will diligently check for the Internet

And whether it is FLOW of Digicel,

I would know what to expect.

 

Meanwhile,

 

If you get a friend request from me

After I am dead and gone,

Consider it a technology breakthrough,

I am calling from the beyond.

 

Stewart Russell © August 22, 2023

 

The Cellphone Camera

 

 

Something about a camera

That I appreciate:

It captures where you point it

It does not differentiate.

 

Quite obedient I suppose

It gets the job done,

It doesn’t shirk responsibility

And can provide much fun.

 

It has come a long way

From many years ago

But even though primitive

It created quite a show.

 

Quite a lot was left

To the photographer then,

He was the master

Behind the camera lens.

 

 

Today it is so different

Even in the simplest cellphone

And everyone’s a photographer

Once one they own.

 

From stills to videos

Any story they can create,

And that is the chief reason

Why the camera I appreciate.

 

Now given the Internet

These stories can go viral,

In a flash they can be communicated

To a world of people.

 

We should understand therefore

That such technology

Should be handled with care

And much responsibility.

 

 

What an amazing device

A cellphone camera can be!

But in the hands of the lawless

It can cause much misery.

 

It can capture a moment

And later create a panic

When that private behaviour

Is revealed to the public.

 

On these such occasions

The victims are not aware

That their actions are being captured

So they do not fear.

 

But later when they realized

Their secret is exposed

They wish to bury themselves

And pull in the mould.

 

Such cases could range from

From the vile to the criminal,

From a break-and-entering act

To the morally reprehensible.

 

 

Such are the possibilities

Given this modern day facility:

The cellphone camera I mean

With its enormous capabilities.

 

It truly narrows the gap

Between the novice and expert,

It can bring joy to the public

Or it can cause much hurt.

 

This is simply because

Despite its technological pitch

It does not come with

An automatic censoring switch.

 

Something about the camera

That I would like to see change:

A technological advancement

To limit the morally deranged.

 

Such would auger well

To promote its positive use

And stamp out the undesirable

With its flagrant abuse.

 

Stewart Russell © June 2018

 

Is This Day Upon Us?

 

 

“I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction.

The world will have a generation of idiots.”

Albert Einstein (1870-1955)

 

Just Asking

 

Pertaining to this quote I really wish I could give you

The exact day and time

And what was foremost on the mind

Of this luminary, Albert Einstein.

 

The aspect of the technology then

That could have prompted Einstein’s quote

That today, February 28, 2021,

Could strike such a chilling note.

 

There is no comparison, I dare say,

Between his era and ours

Regarding the technological advances

Especially that of computers. 

And yet he had a morbid fear

That such a day would come

When technology would gain the ascendancy

And put human interaction on the run.

 

I ask, is this day upon us?

Has technology become the go-to tool?

Are we relegated to idiocy?

Have we in fact become as fools?

 

 

And what of the great minds

That created the technology?

Have they now become less intelligent?

Is this our inevitable eulogy?

 

And what of the world’s leaders

In that idiotic generation?

Will they place more trust in technology

Than across the table interaction?

 

A generation of idiots!

And what of the offspring of these?

Will there be a change or more of the same?

What are the possibilities?

 

When the created replaces the creator

That’s the pinnacle of lunacy,

No doubt the brilliant Albert Einstein

Feared such an eventuality.

 

 

His quote presupposes the “when”

Certainly, more so that the “if”,

It appeared to be only a matter of time,

If you catch my drift.

 

Is this day upon us?

Is it swiftly drawing near?

That COVID-19 is a major indicator

To us should be very clear.

 

Here is another Einstein quote

I believe fits perfectly here,

The technology lacks one of the following

To me this is very clear.

 

You can determine which one

I will finish with the quote,

Just bear in mind that one without the other

Is murder she wrote.

 

“Science without religion is lame,

Religion without science is blind.”

Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

 

Stewart Russell © February 28, 2021

 

By the way:

Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.

Aristotle (384-422 BC)

 

Nuts and Bolts

From nuts and bolts

To two nuts

Or two bolts...

Are you nuts?

I’m intrigued with nuts and bolts

They work so well together,

Holding firm and gripping strong

In all types of weather.

I watch the planes

As they take off,

I watch them as they land

And I am amazed

At the nuts and bolts

And how they facilitate

The engineer’s plan!

Or the ocean-going vessels

On their cruises and their trips,

And I marvel

At the nuts and bolts,

They always do the trick.

Or the cars and motorbikes

Screaming around the track

Providing entertainment

For many a fan,

And of their nuts and bolts-

There’s no lack!

So many pieces of equipment

Depend on nuts and bolts:

On the farm, in the home-

That’s no joke!

Children’s toys and computers

Air conditioners and fans,

Nuts and bolts are a way of life

In the air or on the land.

The weight they carry

Is astronomical,

But they also hold together delicate things

Just like grandma’s spectacles.

Their uses are wide and varied

They are the technicians’ friends,

Loads and loads

Of nuts and bolts

On which we all depend.

But we are seldom willing

To leave well enough alone,

We must go and spoil it

For ourselves, and everyone.

So somebody came up with the idea

Of using two bolts

When another said two nuts…

And I thought they were making sport.

But they were very serious

About separating the nuts from the bolts

And being unable to make anything

It gave everyone a jolt.

That was not the worse

They lobbied for the cause

And into the law was put

A very unnecessary clause.

But they didn’t stop there

They became more unreasonable

And since nothing they could make,

They took from the nuts and bolt people.

Nuts and bolts come in pairs

One bolt and one nut make two,

And since they are fitted for one another

They do what they are supposed to do.

Nuts and bolts are very precious

Do not tear them apart,

Two nuts or two bolts

Will never work,

Please take this to heart.

Nuts and bolts are fundamental

Even in modern engineering,

It doesn’t matter

How advanced the technology

For nuts and bolts I’ll be cheering.

Down with just nuts or just bolts!

That’s a very scary thing,

That combination holds nothing together

It is only disaster it will bring.

Uhu may hold two bolts together

Or super glue may hold two nuts

But anyone entrusting his life to such

Would have to be a simple nut.

Stewart Russell © October 2019