Stewie’s Musings Volume 3

 

 

Bootstraps Crap

 

I can think of some things we say

And they sound good too

But how oft have we examined them?

Have I, have you?

 

Take for example

This following piece of advice:

“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps”

I guess that sounds rather nice.

 

This is the advice oft given

To someone who is really struggling,

But to achieve this particular feat

Is really mind boggling.

 

Try putting on your boots

The ones that carry straps,

Then bend right down, if you may,

And lift yourself by your bootstraps.

 

I will give you many chances

You can do it however you perceive,

Pretty soon you’d be forced to see

In this you’ll never succeed.

 

It is an impossible task

If ever there was one,

Whether the person is struggling or not

This advice should be withdrawn.

 

Life is already daunting

Failure steers him in the face?

Why suggest a feat that none can achieve?

Put a better one in its place.

 

Stewart Russell © July 2020

 

 

 

 

Suicide A Way of Life

 

Even this title sounds funny

Like a tragic kind of joke,

But let me tell you what I mean

And trust you get the full scope.

 

“We do not recommend suicide

As a way of life”,

Now this is a very captivating ad

And it even sounds nice.

 

If you are looking for an ad

To get someone to take note,

This would be good for a counselling service;

It would certainly get my vote.

 

Now fancy a caption like this

Up on somebody’s door,

If you have been practicing suicide,

You don’t have to do it anymore.

 

It is like death as a way of life

Somewhat like the living dead,

And the more I think about it

The more it hurts my head.

 

So, if you are seeking a counselling clinic

I would recommend such a one,

Especially for suicide practitioners

That can do it when they are gone.

 

We do not recommend suicide

As a way of life

But many are dead in trespasses and sins

And are suffering this spiritual strife.

 

Stewart Russell © July 2020

 

 

 

 

A Very Positive Ad

 

Here is another interesting ad

I thought of the other day,

“It can only get better”

Is what I thought this ad should say.

 

It bespeaks grave negativity

Yet one should see it is positive

“It can only get better”

But to what is it relative?

 

Let us think of a company

That is offering a public service,

And that service becomes so lousy

That it puts your business at risk.

 

There are certain essential services

That businesses cannot do without

So that when these services malfunction

They create a lot of doubt.

 

Now take a look again

At the ad we started out with

“It can only get better” it stated:

This is certainly not a gift.

 

But it is an achievable promise

If that service is at rock-bottom,

Since it cannot go down any further

Up is its only direction.

 

“It can only get better”

Would be a very appropriate ad,

Considering how many businesses are doing,

It could really become a fad.

 

Stewart Russell © July 2020