Have you ever checked the time
That you went off to sleep?
Did you check before or after
And did you carefully look or just peep?
I find it very amazing
Regarding some of the things we say
“Like, I went to sleep at 10 o’clock
Just day before yesterday.”
And we are very adamant too
Even willing to testify in court
That we know the time we fell asleep
And we are not making sport.
Don’t think this is funny
I know it happened to you too,
Just think back a little bit
Already you are admitting it is true.
See if you remember this conversation
Probably this morning when you woke;
“When did you go to sleep? Was it late?”
“No, I went to sleep at half past eight.”
I am amazed that you can tell
The exact time that you fell asleep,
I wonder where the clock was located
That allowed you that final peep.
I know people who can multi-task
And do even three things at a time
But seeing the clock and sleeping too
Really, really blows my mind.
If you are only now getting the point
I guess you were sleeping all along,
If while asleep you could tell the time
Next time you’re asleep sing a song.
Another one I have often heard
And still don’t know what it means
Is, “Man I was between sleep and wake
When I heard somebody scream.”
I want somebody to tell me
What really is “between sleep and wake”,
I believe it is one or the other
And on that matter that’s just my take.
A third delusion about sleep
Is the argument that some people make
And tell what they don’t do while sleeping,
You would argue they were awake.
“I don’t snore in my sleep,” they say
As though they can really tell,
They will argue all night with you
Who in the same house with them dwell.
The final delusion I shall share
Is closely linked with the first,
It also has to do with time
And is very frequently rehearsed.
“I was so tired yesterday evening
That I slept exactly five hours.”
Unable to tell when they went to sleep
They pretend to have psychic powers.
If only I could tell when I went to sleep
I could tell for how long I had slept
But being asleep there’s no way I could,
That would be like laughing till I wept.
When one has truly gone to sleep
One has temporarily left this scene
And if he should hear or see anything
It would have to be in a dream.
Sleep is an intriguing phenomenon
And all that we know is that we do
But concerning what we do when we sleep
I do not know, do you?
Some people walk about in their sleep
And some people talk a lot,
Some people roam all over the bed
While some sleep in a single spot.
Whatever we do whenever we sleep
We are not aware that we do,
Not while we are sleeping we are not,
It is time you know that is true.
Let me end on this final note
And thank God for much needed rest
Happy to wake up out of a nightmare
But enjoy a lovely dream at best.
Stewart Russell © 2017