A Fictional Real Life Experience

We were alone together and it was an awfully good feeling.  We were anxiously patiently awaiting this apparently invisible phenomenon.  We moved slightly to the far left to avoid the blind spot directly before us at the back of the room.  I turned to cursorily stare at my friend and I saw the brief longing in her eyes.  It was almost exactly time for the event to occur.  We had attended only once before but on that occasion we had received bad goods.  We had been assuredly disappointed because we had paid a pretty penny and the merchandise was altogether separate.  This time, however, things were different for there was a conspicuous absence of people.

We were on the top floor patio and I wondered what we would do in the event that we could not use the staircase and were forced to climb down.  I thought to myself, “Should either one of us lose his or her life would any death benefits accrue to either of us.  And if so would it be enough to satisfy either of us?”  I did not think long on this morbid matter since we were at this time far nearer to the event that we had come to view. 

By now we were experiencing some discomfort for we had to constantly change our position.  This was a long wait and we began to wonder if for the second time we would come away with a clearly confusing disappointing disposition.  This was turning out to be a cruel joke.  My friend began to experience some cold sweat and I was beginning to question myself regarding the conventional wisdom of this essentially useless venture.

Almost suddenly there was a crazy sound followed by a deafening silence.  For sure now I was reluctantly convinced that we had made a deliberate mistake for we were both now hiding in the plain sight of every one. 

I started to prepare myself for some sort of defensive attack for I was sure that there was a definite possibility of the same occurring even though this could be different.  My friend began to emotionally reason that it might be better for us to do nothing considering that this might be an easy task given the even odds that were stacked against us.  I decided to proceed with my line of thought since this brought us far closer to a solution than just simply doing nothing and going with the faulty logical conclusion at which my friend had arrived. 

Given all that was occurring around us I mentally decided that on this occasion nothing was going to happen again and to simply do nothing would be in keeping with the former occasion.  Here we both were on particularly high ground, hopelessly optimistic in a not too secure homeless shelter.  By now my friend was becoming highly depressed.  There was too much of a little time left to allow her to succumb to this bout of depression.  I had to do something fast or we would most likely turn up missing.  This was certainly no time for idle work.  What confront us was incredibly real and our prospects were growing smaller. 

My friend looked at me and beamed with admiration for the genuine imitation at bravery that I was displaying.  Inwardly though I was beginning to feel that my successful attempt at covering up my fear was a well-known secret and this so because I was a natural actor.

As time passed my friend became mighty weak and showed signs of mild enthusiasm as we processed our minor disaster.  We had a narrow range of options and there was a needless requirement to settle on our mandatory option that was mutually exclusive.  I could not rely on my friend in her state.  To do so would be a new tradition for me for I had always worked my way out of trouble with little or no help from anyone especially any of the female species.

After a while I came up with an idea that though partially complete was relatively perfect when compared to all the other ideas in our narrow range of options.  I would have to be a one-man-band and this idea would at the very least be an original copy or more aptly put, a real fake.  Well, while this may be so, it was our only choice since all the other options had proven to be no choices at all.

I tiptoed toll free across the top floor with my friend following at a close distance behind me.  The reason for why we were here had by this time become a distant memory plaguing our minds.  We had paid all of this money to see a virtually invisible phenomenon and now we would be lucky if we could get away with our lives.  The staircase was no longer available and we would have to climb down in order to get out from within this building. 

Almost suddenly my friend raised a silent alarm that she had seen something but she was not sure what it was.  This was strangely familiar to me and there was a sure bet that this was not likely to go away too soon.  She needlessly requested that we investigate what it was that she was not quite sure she had seen.  Well we came to a rolling stop just before we had reached the end of the corridor.  I tried to convince her that what she had seen was truly false and at best had an unknown identity.  Her response to my suggestion was utter silence that pierced my ear like a scream making me quite uncomfortable.  By now you should have evaluated that this was quite an unusual routine for me.  Nevertheless, I could not roll over and play dead for to do so would be a definite infatuation with death.

There was a quiet rage surging within me and I called on all the resources I had within me to quell it.  My cluttered mind needed to be cleared if I would bring all my mental capabilities to bear on escaping this strange familiarity.  From where we stood on the patio I had an obstructed view of the side of the building.  There were many expanses of plastic glass.  However, interspersed with the plastic glass were some footholds that might hold a person’s feet and stop him from falling headlong to the ground.  As we gingerly climbed down the side of the building there was a steady vibration that made our descent that little more difficult.  We both reached the ground in one piece.  Of course this confirmed my exact estimate of our perilous situation and what it would have taken to escape with our lives.

To this day when we look back on this experience we cannot decide whether this strange phenomenon happened accidentally on purpose or was purposely accidental.  We have argued continuously on end about it and on each occasion have decided to agree to disagree.  I guess one would say that we are almost candid.  Regarding the apparently invisible phenomenon you may contend that there is not much consolation if we tell you that we almost saw it.  In such a case you would hold to an absolutely unsure position.  My unsure position is far more certain that yours, however, since our consolation is that we got out with our lives still intact.  I have of my own volition concluded that this achievement was obviously the result of my ability to act naturally in difficult circumstances and especially in the midst of accurate rumours.  Though I was almost surprised at the turn of events, and who would not be if they were all alone and all together separate, I still did not act like an amateur expert.  My friend often says that she would go anywhere with me even if she is confidently unsure that I am able to handle any eventuality. She further says that what I have going for me is that I am able to anticipate the unanticipated.  I suppose you can call that artificial intelligence.  Maybe that is because my brain is astronomically small.  Given the derivation of the word oxymoron that implies “sharp and dull” at the same time, you should clearly see how clearly confused we can be at times.  But my assured guess is that that is what one might refer to as being absolutely naturally artificial.  But then all of that may be simply old news to you.

If on reading this short narrative of my virtual bitter sweet, simply difficult experience you have clearly misunderstood me, be a cheerful pessimist rather than a dull optimist.  Remember six and half dozen are not always the same.  Why they are even spelt differently.  After all it takes only one difference to establish the same difference. 

In a world that is becoming more and more dependent on artificial intelligence to solve human problems it could be advantageous to hope that there are still some intelligent morons around.  At some time in the near distant future genius and moron will be synonyms.

I am your intelligent moron or dumb genius if you please… 

  

Stewart Russell © 2016