Shut Out

 

 

The bumming on the door

Could be heard both far and near,

He was locked out of his house

To me, that was clear.

 

I stood up not far off

To see what he would do

But the bumming only continued

With nothing else in view.

 

Mr. Moron had lived there

With his wife, Mrs. Simpleton

And all of their neighbours were aware

Of their common problem.

 

Take Moron by name

And add Simpleton by nature

And between the two of them

You’d get the total picture.

 

Mr. Moron was sweeping the step

When a gust of wind blew the door in,

He didn’t have a key

And started up a din.

 

He kept on bumming on the door

While exercising his lungs

And his voice could be heard

Calling out for Simpleton.

 

Simpleton! Simpleton!

Try and open this door!

And hearing no response

He pommelled the door more.

 

It was as though

This door was his wife

Whom he had often beaten

Within an inch of her life.

 

It was their modus operandi

For they have never fallen out

And with him now on the outside

It was his time to shout.

 

Suddenly she was standing beside him

With a quizzical face,

“Moron,” she asked him,

Why are you knocking down the place?

 

“I want you to let me in,

Cause I locked myself out.”

And with that

The two of them started to shout.”

 

“Let us in! Let us in!

Whoever is inside!

This is our humble dwelling place

And it is here we abide.”

 

They said this repeatedly,

Obviously, this had happened before

So, they kept on banging and shouting

And threatening the door.

 

“If you were inside,” Moron said,

You could open the door

And we wouldn’t have to fret

And shout out anymore.”

 

“That’s a brilliant idea,”

Mrs. Simpleton said to Mr. Moron,

“But I am locked out too

And that is the problem!”

 

“Let’s pretend you were inside

Then you could open the door,

And I would be able to come in

And not be out here anymore.”

 

“Okay, so I am in the house

And I have opened the door,

Now you can come in, you moron,

Don’t stand out there anymore.”

 

The bumming had stopped

But now it started up again,

“Simpleton! Simpleton! Try and open this door!”

Tell me my dear reader, which would you blame?

 

Stewart Russell © May 2020