Turned Up Missing

 

 

What a turn of phrase!

I am absolutely amazed

That the saying turned up missing

Is actually a phase.

 

A phase in a missing thing

Or a missing person;

Turned up!  That’s good news

But next: the problem.

 

Missing! Oh no,

It just cannot be!

To turn up and still be missing

Must be a mystery.

 

But everybody uses it

Meaning it makes some sense

But to me it’s totally nonsensical,

I mean no offense.

 

She was here all night

But she turned up missing,

How could this really be, I ask,

Unless we are guessing.

 

Maybe she was never here

Even though she turned up,

If I should ever turn up missing

I’d be out of luck.

 

I am not finish yet

There is yet some more,

To turn up missing is to be lost;

Nonsense galore!

 

English amazes me,

Re the nonsense we speak

Just like in an English examination

You could have a leak.

 

A leak in the plumbing

Requires a plumber

But a leak in an examination

Demands a do-over.

 

 

A gas leak, a water leak,

An oil or information leak,

Something turns up missing in all

Well, so to speak!

 

So, you see my problem

With this silly turn of phrase,

It makes absolutely no sense

But I refuse to be fazed.

 

Have you found the item

Since it turned up missing?

Well, I guess not is not surprising

Since we must be guessing.

 

 

To turn up missing

Is really good news and bad,

The turned-up part is encouraging

But the missing part is sad.

 

It is better to turn up

Than to turn up missing,

There is really no sense in turning up

If just to turn up missing.

 

Stewart Russell © June 15, 2024