From Cook to Burney

You gone and burn that ham?

You burn the pork too?

Tell me what are you thinking about?

What is it that is wrong with you?

So what about the turkey?

And what about the chicken stew?

Please woman, do not tell me

That you gone and burn them too.

Wait! My church pants got a burn

And it is right down the leg,

For right now my lady

I am most definitely seeing red.

Tell me, what gone wrong?

You’re just burning everything,

Now I know for a fact

You must be related to Burnet and Sims.

You know Burnet that burns

Just like you burning everything

But no Sims on the other hand

Sauce burnt instead of simmering?

Can you imagine this?

Yesterday I ask you to burn the trash,

You blatantly refused to do that

Saying you can’t stand the ash.

But today the ham is burnt

The Pork is burnt through and through

The turkey is burnt and so are my pants

You even burn the chicken stew.

Name change from Cook to Burney

And what is more, you didn’t tell me,

It was “Licorish” and I changed it to “Cook”

But you changed it again arbitrarily.

You are burning everything in sight,

I mean everything that should be cooked

Yet when I ask you to burn the trash

Yesterday, I encountered no such luck.

Multitasking was the lame excuse

That was given for all these mishaps

And in addition the wife also blamed me

Since I spent that day lying on my back.

On reflection I should have helped

Particularly regarding the cost of that ham

I regret that now more than you’d ever know

For cremation was never a part of the plan.

I regret to announce the death of my ham

Burnt beyond recognition by my madam

Along with three other meats and one long pants

O how I regret the incineration of that leg ham!

Stewart Russell © December 2017