Monday, December 18, 2017

From Cook to Burney


Image result for images of a cartoon quarrel

You gone and burn that ham?
You burn the pork too?
Tell me what are you thinking about?
What is it that is wrong with you?

So what about the turkey?
And what about the chicken stew?
Please woman, do not tell me
That you gone and burn them too.

Wait! My church pants got a burn
And it is right down the leg,
For right now my lady
I am most definitely seeing red.

Tell me, what gone wrong?
You’re just burning everything,
Now I know for a fact
You must be related to Burnet and Sims.

You know Burnet that burns
Just like you burning everything
But no Sims on the other hand
Sauce burnt instead of simmering?

Can you imagine this?
Yesterday I ask you to burn the trash,
You blatantly refused to do that
Saying you can’t stand the ash.

Image result for images for a burnt ham


But today the ham is burnt
The Pork is burnt through and through
The turkey is burnt and so are my pants
You even burn the chicken stew.

Name change from Cook to Burney
And what is more, you didn’t tell me,
It was “Licorish” and I changed it to “Cook”
But you changed it again arbitrarily.

You are burning everything in sight,
I mean everything that should be cooked
Yet when I ask you to burn the trash
Yesterday, I encountered no such luck.

Multitasking was the lame excuse
That was given for all these mishaps
And in addition the wife also blamed me
Since I spent that day lying on my back.

On reflection I should have helped
Particularly regarding the cost of that ham
I regret that now more than you’d ever know
For cremation was never a part of the plan.

Image result for images for a burnt ham


I regret to announce the death of my ham
Burnt beyond recognition by my madam
Along with three other meats and one long pants
O how I regret the incineration of that leg ham!


Stewart Russell © December 2017

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