Moron and Simpleton
Are husband and wife,
You won’t find a more suited couple
In spite of their strife.
Last we heard of them
They had locked themselves out,
Neither had a key
So, all they did was shout.
I do not have to tell you
This was to no avail
And the more they beat on the door
The more they failed.
But if you think this was bad
You need to think again
For before you could blink
More trouble came.
They went for a long walk
Far away from home
Whereupon the rain poured down
Soaking them to the bone.
A quarrel broke out
Since only one had an umbrella
And rather than share it
They fretted about the weather.
When they left home
It was sunny he argued
And when she had last checked
No rain was due.
However, she being cautious
Had taken one umbrella
And he being the moron he is
Didn’t carry the other.
You see the rain didn’t set up
Like their troubles usually had
And unlike their quarrels
It wasn’t nearly as bad.
“Why did you bring one umbrella
When you know there are two?”
She, not to be outdone hit right back,
“I would have done so if only I knew.”
“But the two were together,”
He shouted right back at her.
“But I did not know I just told you,”
And she refused to concur.
“So many women out there
And I married a simpleton like you!
Why, I would have to be a moron
And a dumb one too.”
“But are you hearing yourself
My dear idiotic moron?
One would think you brought an umbrella
And I am the problem.”
“So, if I brought an umbrella
Give me yours and use mine
So that we could shelter from the rain
And stop wasting time.”
“But you did not bring an umbrella
And so, I refused to use mine
‘Cause it always gets wet
And yours is dry all the time.”
“Foolish woman, it is an umbrella,
It is made to get wet,
Why else would you walk with yours?
Look, don’t get me vexed!”
“Well, let’s walk back home
And then we will have two
And we can walk right back here
Both me and you.”
“For once in your lifetime
You’ve come up with a good plan.”
“Well that’s why I am the woman
And you are the man."
As the saying goes,
Women always have the last say
So, she kept her umbrella in its cover
And they both set off on their way.
Stewart Russell © August 31, 2022
