Rain this Christmas

 

 

 

I am forecasting rain,

Rain this Christmas

Hence, consider this forecast

In all of your fuss.

 

I remember once

When it rained,

It rained the entire Christmas

And that was a strain.

 

Indoors for the day,

I was a boy back then

And though it was a light rain,

It posed a problem.

 

Getting together

To have some fun

Was definitely not possible

Without the sun.

 

All year this year

We were getting rain

This Christmas will be the same,

It will rain.

 

 

Early morning church?

Carry your umbrella,

I am definitely forecasting

Rainy weather.

 

Going in Queen’s Park

After church?

Ladies, take your parasol,

Don’t make sport.

 

Don’t be vexed with me,

I am not to blame

But believe you me, I tell you,

Christmas, it will rain.

 

Cold and rainy

On Christmas morning,

Rather than get annoyed with me

Take my warning.

 

 

I am no prophet

Or even a meteorologist

But if it doesn’t rain on Christmas,

It’ll be a welcome twist.

 

Hopefully, not much

But it will definitely rain

So, I hope you don’t overspend

For then, it’ll be in vain.

 

It should be a good day

Whether rain or sun

For a good Christmas depends

On God’s only Son.

 

My forecast is rain

And cloudy skies

But those who know the Christ

Will radiate smiles.

 

 

For it will be Christmas,

Commemorating his birth

And that very first Christmas

When he came to earth.

 

Joy to the world,

The Lord has come

And with this thro’ the ages refrain

It won’t matter if it rain.

 

Stewart Russell © December 7, 2024

 

Moron and Simpleton

 

 

Moron and Simpleton

Are husband and wife,

You won’t find a more suited couple

In spite of their strife.

 

 

Last we heard of them

They had locked themselves out,

Neither had a key

So, all they did was shout.

 

I do not have to tell you

This was to no avail

And the more they beat on the door

The more they failed.

 

But if you think this was bad

You need to think again

For before you could blink

More trouble came.

 

They went for a long walk

Far away from home

Whereupon the rain poured down

Soaking them to the bone.

 

A quarrel broke out

Since only one had an umbrella

And rather than share it

They fretted about the weather.

 

When they left home

It was sunny he argued

And when she had last checked

No rain was due.

 

However, she being cautious

Had taken one umbrella

And he being the moron he is

Didn’t carry the other.

 

You see the rain didn’t set up

Like their troubles usually had

And unlike their quarrels

It wasn’t nearly as bad.

 

 

“Why did you bring one umbrella

When you know there are two?”

She, not to be outdone hit right back,

“I would have done so if only I knew.”

 

“But the two were together,”

He shouted right back at her.

“But I did not know I just told you,”

And she refused to concur.

 

“So many women out there

And I married a simpleton like you!

Why, I would have to be a moron

And a dumb one too.”

 

 

“But are you hearing yourself

My dear idiotic moron?

One would think you brought an umbrella

And I am the problem.”

 

 

“So, if I brought an umbrella

Give me yours and use mine

So that we could shelter from the rain

And stop wasting time.”

 

“But you did not bring an umbrella

And so, I refused to use mine

‘Cause it always gets wet

And yours is dry all the time.”

 

“Foolish woman, it is an umbrella,

It is made to get wet,

Why else would you walk with yours?

Look, don’t get me vexed!”

 

 

“Well, let’s walk back home

And then we will have two

And we can walk right back here

Both me and you.”

 

“For once in your lifetime

You’ve come up with a good plan.”

“Well that’s why I am the woman

And you are the man."

 

As the saying goes,

Women always have the last say

So, she kept her umbrella in its cover

And they both set off on their way.

 

Stewart Russell © August 31, 2022