Now, what’s this about?
It is monkey business,
These monkeys in Barbados
Won’t let farmers rest.
I speak from experience
As a very small farmer,
Four fruit trees in my backyard:
My mini orchard.
One is an apple tree
Of the golden apple sort
Just about one and a half my height
Seeing I am short.
A cluster of four apples
Was my continual delight,
They were growing extremely well-
Oh, what a sight!
From a strategic window
I kept occasional vigil
And at no time did it come to mind
This present peril.
My neighbour has one
That is loaded with fruit
So, I felt that my four apples were safe
From any four-legged brute.
Alas, just this morning
Around 8 o’clock or so,
Two nefarious primates appeared
To put on a show.
When they finished
Just one apple was left
And all I could wish for afterwards
Were the culprits’ death.
It was a large one
Foraging for their food
And the other along with this one
Didn’t look too good.
It looked kind o’ sickly
According to the wife
Thus, it didn’t seem able to participate
In the other one’s strife.
Something must be done
About these thieves,
Because of this morning’s invasion
I am now greatly aggrieved.
I had no prior reason
To complain about them
But now like the many before me
They are my problem.
It is a mystery though,
That they actually left one,
Maybe if the smaller one wasn’t sick
They would all be gone.
By the way, my friend,
I need to let all of you know
These apples were my first crop
So, this is a big blow.
Only one is left now,
What should I do with it?
To leave it on the tree will only encourage
Another planned visit.
They know it is still there
So, they will come back
To complete the original mission:
What facinorous rats!
The last I saw them
Was on my neighbour’s wall,
One of them pushed off his plant pot
And let it fall.
These monkeys are awful
And I am sure you agree
But I must also reluctantly confess,
They are also funny.
Stewart Russell © September 1, 2025

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