Another Moronic Quarrel

 

 

Can’t get along with

Can’t get along without

But the fact they have stuck it out

Is without doubt.

 

 

Argument after argument

Quarrel after quarrel,

Where will this one end up?

Not even they can tell.

 

We need a bigger TV

We’ve outgrown this one,

Thirty-two years we have had it,

Time it was gone.

 

This is from Simpleton

Now hear Moron’s reply,

If it is not broken, don’t fix it!

With that she sighed.

 

But it’s too small, Moron

And difficult to see,

Ah, but my darling Simpleton,

Don’t blame the TV.

 

It is your spectacles

And I could wager a bet

So don’t blame the faithful TV,

Get a new set.

 

That’s what I mean, Moron,

Let us get a new TV set

And we would see everything better

And I won’t have to fret.

 

You’d still fret, my dear,

That’s your middle name

And should I give into you as always,

You’d win the game.

 

The TV shows perfect

Though just a thirteen inch

And I am sticking to my side:

I will not flinch.

 

But Moron, sweetie pie,

Pamper me, my dear,

Just take it out on hire purchase

With two years to pay.

 

All right, Simpleton,

Let me show you a fact,

This TV is bigger than all the rest

And I can prove that.

 

The TV that you’d wish,

What size television is it?

I would like a fifty-inch, Moron,

That would be a fit.

 

A fifty-inch, Simpleton!

Where did you see that?

Right here on our old television

From where I sat.

 

You saw a fifty-inch TV

On a thirteen-inch screen?

Why, in that case our TV is bigger-

Simpleton screamed.

 

It is very simple,

At least, it seems so to me

Anything would have to be smaller

To fit on our TV.

 

You are right, Moron,

I really didn’t see it so,

Anyhow, we still need a new TV

Cause a tube just blow.

 

What! A tube what?

You got to be kidding me!

Tell me the truth, Simpleton,

You mashed up the TV?

 

No, when I plugged it in

I just heard, “poof!”

It got tired carrying all that load-

That is my proof.

 

Why must a 13-inch TV

Carry a fifty-inch television?

Sooner or later, my dearest Moron,

It’d be out of commission.

 

So, buy a fifty inch

That can carry the load

And since we are now without a TV,

It’s an immediate goal.

 

A spanking new 50-inch

Stands on a TV stand

And the 13-inch TV sits on the top

As though a plan.

 

It started back working

As soon as the other arrived

And they are watched together-

Seriously, no jive.

 

Stewart Russell © August 4, 2025