It’s All Fools’ Day

You won’t believe what happened to me

I wrote a poem on All Fools’ Day,

Next thing you know the poem got lost

I click the wrong button and it went away.

I know it started out something like this,

Today used to begin the year

But way back then there was a change

And now what do we have?  All Fools’ Day!

Yes April first had begun the New Year

But it was changed to first of January,

You can believe or doubt this if you wish

But this is recorded in history.

The change took place some time ago

From the Julian calendar to the Gregorian,

Some people took long before they changed

And if you haven’t by now you are a moron.

From the first of the year to All Fools’ Day,

What a demotion that must have been!

A day to remember all of the world’s fools

Particularly the ones that are still on the scene.

In the past when your pipe was running

You would be inclined to chase after it

Or if it had happened to be your nose

Your neighbours would have been having a fit.

Or someone may have received a note

That sent him to the Garrison to collect a boat,

Next thing you know that silly old goat

Would be trying hard just to get that boat to float.

Or that man who was sent on an errand

To buy some post-holes already dug

He decided also on a ready dug well

So that returning would not be a humbug.

Smart fellow he was to make one trip

A fool would have made at least two,

Some wonder still how deep was the well

And the post-hole size too, don’t you?

  

I remember too at a hardware store

A man was buying some polka dot paint,

He was warned to be careful not to shake it up

At the time I found that rather quaint.

Another asked at a store to sell him a loose,

It was a loose he wanted to buy,

After a long search and much time passed by

It was found that he wanted a tie.

“It is a loose when it is on the rack,”

This he said with a very straight face,

“But around one’s neck it becomes a tie.”

Of a smile there was not the slightest trace.

Nowadays All Fools’ Day is not as popular

As it was in the days gone by,

Many don’t fall for those tricks anymore

Which were served up by the cunning and the sly.

Of course these tricks can take a dangerous turn,
The news bringer could be telling the truth
And the news receiver could very well regret
When later he sees the evidence and the proof. 

However there is a time I’ll never forget

Of a man riding on the tray of a truck,

Seeing a near miss he jumped in the air

But when he landed he was out of luck.

Now I know what you are thinking

Foolish me don’t know a truck from a lorry,

Whether of the twain it matters not

I know for sure that man was sorry.

Thinking of April 1^st I just remembered

Two of my friends were born on that day,

If you don’t believe me you can ask my wife

She was not one of them any way.

I have a feeling and perhaps you do too

That fools can come on any day,

It is what they do after they were born

And the foolish things that they say.

To end this poem I’ll give you some advice,

You may want to classify me as a fool

But don’t be too quick to make that judgment

You may very well be one of my tools.

Stewart Russell © April 1^st, 2017