Bible Anecdotes

Draw up a chair

And listen a while

Enjoy the Bible

And share a smile

You may determine

Which get your vote

As you read through

These Bible anecdotes

I’ve tried a bit

To put them in rhyme

I hope I succeeded

Each and every time

So without the long talk

Or any more ado

Here are some Bible anecdotes

For me and for you

I’ll start with this one

It might make you frown

Samson was a great comedian

He brought the house down

Noah was a great financier

Must be his education

He securely floated his stock

While the world was in liquidation

Noah was a great inventor

With tremendous skill and insight

He isn’t credited with it yet

But he invented floodlights 

He was good at Mathematics too

And wrote the book of Numbers

And no doubt he could measure

For the ark was built with lumber

The final thing about Noah

That I haven’t told you yet

No cards were played on the ark

Because Noah stood on the deck

  

Pharoah’s daughter was a financier

With quite a flair for style

She drew out a little prophet

While at the Bank of the Nile

Although Moses was bright

He never came first in class

The record shows he always came fourth

Whenever he was given a task

Moses was an interesting character

That made people keep the law

Yet he broke all ten in one fell swoop

When angered by what he saw

It is said of Henry Ford

That he made the first motorcar

But vehicles were in the Bible

One doesn’t have to look far

Let’s turn to Genesis

Just after the creation story

God drove Adam and Eve

Out of the garden in a Fury

David was a great king

And a very rich man

His Triumph could be heard

Throughout the land

See the Honda in the Acts

In which the apostles of the Lord

Were all together

In one Accord

From the arena of cars

To the arena of games

We will show a fast pace sport

Baseball is its name

Eve stole first; Adam stole second

Abel was struck out by Cain

The Prodigal son made a home run

And Giants and Angels were ended by rain

Tennis was also present

It was a prestigious sport

In the first Biblical record

Joseph served in Pharoah’s court

Having left the garden

Adam and Eve suffered pain

I have no doubt about this fact

For that’s when they raised Cain

Adam must have confessed

Once with his children alone

“I always meant to tell you this

Your mother ate us out of house and home

As soon as they ate the fruit

They suffered untold damage

Their insurance also ran out

And they saw they had no coverage

Right into Goliath’s forehead

The smooth little pebble bore

The giant must have been surprised

The thought never entered his head before

Out of this came a lull-a-by

From out of this feat it emerged

“David, he rocked Goliath to sleep”

Sounds more like a funeral dirge

The first case of constipation

With David it did appear

It must have been a difficult time

Sitting on the throne for forty years

Nebuchadnezzar was a drug addict

I want you to be aware

Losing respect and fear for God

He was on grass for seven years

Beds back then were very large

You can put me to the test

David slept with his fore fathers

And they had a peaceful rest

Before Boaz had been married

He had a little stress

The reason for that must have been

The fact that he was Ruth-less

Being fatherless and motherless

Really couldn’t be fun

I must sympathize with Joshua

Who was the son of Nun

It also appears to me

Some animals had strange names

Moreover the dogs and Hither the calf

Are two that I can claim

The Jordan area was wealthy

It was wealthy as can be

The banks were always overflowing

The evidence of liquidity

That the Lord is going to be with you

Is no guarantee when you fly

“Lo I am with you always” implies

You had better keep out of the sky

   

Well, that’s about all for now

I trust you are still awake

If you are you might have noticed

The anecdotes numbered twenty-eight 

If there’s one you might have missed

Don’t be ashamed to go back

I myself dozed a number of times

I can tell you that that’s a fact

Stewart Russell © 2017