Christmas Is A-Coming

 

 

Christmas is a-coming

Porky’s a-getting fat,

If you are Seventh Day Adventist,

Stay away from that.

 

 

In the Moron household

A quarrel is a-brewing,

It is getting near to Christmas

And little is a-doing.

 

  

Moron wanted pork

But Simpleton refused,

She is now a Seventh Day Adventist

And pork she cannot choose.

 

But Moron was adamant

It was never like this

For pork is a definite essential

She wants him to miss.

 

So, noise broke down

All over the place,

All two shouting at one another

And in each other’s face.

 

But there was more,

She wouldn’t do a thing,

Other than take the SDA hymnal

And all day, sing.

 

  

“Simpleton,” Moron, shouted,

“But you for real?

Ever since you join the Adventist

Wifely duties fail.

 

You get real lazy

And scarcely doing a thing

And after every noise, I notice,

You begin to sing.”

 

 

“Moron,” Simpleton replied,

“You need God!

And that is all I planning to say,

That is all!”

  

“Every year before,

We celebrated Christmas

And you of all people, Simpleton,

Made a lot of fuss.

 

 

And now this year

You are trying to tell me

You are a Seventh Day Adventist

So, no festivity?

 

Not even a piece of pork

Or a little ham?

And you want me to understand

That is the plan?

 

Married all these years

And suddenly this?

No pork, no bacon and no ham,

What a miss!

 

No response, Simpleton?

Nothing to say?

At least you could quarrel and fret

Like back in the day.”

 

 

“I said too much already

And I fret my soul,

You can buy in parts like above

Or buy the pig whole.

 

I turn vegetarian

Eating chicken or lamb

With some fish, duck or turkey

But no-pork is my plan.

 

Do not bring any pork

For me to cook!

I am neither cooking nor eating it,

I’ve a different outlook.”

 

Denominations split

And religion parts ways

And for Moron and SDA Simpleton,

These are different days. 

  

Christmas is a-coming

Porky’s a-getting fat,

But Simpleton who is now Adventist

Is nothing to do with that.

 

 

“Grounds for divorce!

And this is surely one,

So, by Christmas time next year,

I Moron will be gone.”

 

 

“Be careful, Moron,

What you predict,

Before Christmas time next year,

You might exit.

 

Stewart Russell © December 8, 2025