Monkey Business

 

Now, what’s this about?

It is monkey business,

These monkeys in Barbados

Won’t let farmers rest.

 

I speak from experience

As a very small farmer,

Four fruit trees in my backyard:

My mini orchard.

 

One is an apple tree

Of the golden apple sort

Just about one and a half my height

Seeing I am short.

 

A cluster of four apples

Was my continual delight,

They were growing extremely well-

Oh, what a sight!

 

From a strategic window

I kept occasional vigil

And at no time did it come to mind

This present peril.

 

My neighbour has one

That is loaded with fruit

So, I felt that my four apples were safe

From any four-legged brute.

 

Alas, just this morning

Around 8 o’clock or so,

Two nefarious primates appeared

To put on a show.

 

When they finished

Just one apple was left

And all I could wish for afterwards

Were the culprits’ death.

 

 

It was a large one

Foraging for their food

And the other along with this one

Didn’t look too good.

 

It looked kind o’ sickly

According to the wife

Thus, it didn’t seem able to participate

In the other one’s strife.

 

Something must be done

About these thieves,

Because of this morning’s invasion

I am now greatly aggrieved.

 

I had no prior reason

To complain about them

But now like the many before me

They are my problem.

 

It is a mystery though,

That they actually left one,

Maybe if the smaller one wasn’t sick

They would all be gone.

 

By the way, my friend,

I need to let all of you know

These apples were my first crop

So, this is a big blow.

 

 

Only one is left now,

What should I do with it?

To leave it on the tree will only encourage

Another planned visit.

 

They know it is still there

So, they will come back

To complete the original mission:

What facinorous rats!

 

The last I saw them

Was on my neighbour’s wall,

One of them pushed off his plant pot

And let it fall.

 

These monkeys are awful

And I am sure you agree

But I must also reluctantly confess,

They are also funny.

 

Stewart Russell © September 1, 2025